We have a new story to tell around our house. It has been entitled “The Great Bed Debacle of 2024”. It started with Irelyn’s request for a Barbie Dream House from Santa. It was all she asked about for weeks, and “Santa” did not disappoint. The Barbie Dreamhouse was there on Christmas morning waiting in its box. Her dream had come true! After all the other presents were opened, she asked us to put it together. Did you know the Barbie Dreamhouse is actually the size of a real house? It could be compared to a small rental or apartment, and this is supposed to fit somewhere inside your own home. Who knew?

As we continued to follow the directions, the dream house kept growing, and growing, until it consumed half of our living room. When it was finished, I stood back, and I thought to myself, “Huh, that’s pretty darn big. We are going to have to figure something out…”. Being the patient and practical person I am, I got on my phone and ordered a loft bed for my daughter’s room. We could then put the Barbie Dreamhouse under it and eliminate it from my living room.

So, yes, I chose to purchase a $1500.00 loft bed to accommodate a $130 toy. Yeah, that sounds about right.  The bed arrived in several large boxes a few days later. It would be so cool if the story ended there, but, if you know me, you know that’s impossible. After the new bed was about 75% assembled, it appeared there were some major cosmetic damages from shipping on several of the last few pieces. I happened to notice this after all the parts from the old bed had been brought down three flights of stairs, and most of the new pieces carried up those three flights of stairs by my dear husband. There was no turning back. I called the company we ordered it from, and thankfully they assured us they would send out replacement parts right away. So, we continued putting the rest together.

Within a few hours, the brand-new loft bed, purchased to accommodate the Barbie Dreamhouse, was complete. Irelyn was so excited to try it. She climbed up the attached staircase and sat atop the grand bed beaming with joy! That joy lasted about a day. Six to seven sleepless nights later, we were also sent a message from her kindergarten teacher stating she had fallen asleep for a bit during class. She wasn’t so sure about sleeping up high anymore. Oh, and guess what? The Barbie Dreamhouse – it didn’t fit under the loft bed and sat untouched since Christmas morning, still in the living room. Oh, and here’s another belly slapper! The day Irelyn confirmed she did not want her new bed anymore, I already had someone coming to purchase the old one from us and had to cancel! But wait – there’s more everyone! When asked honestly, Irelyn told us that she didn’t realize the Barbie Dreamhouse was going to be so big. Her little 5-year-old-self requested we sell it so she could purchase a different toy that she would play with. Thus completes “The Great Bed Debacle of 2024”. Thank God the company we purchased from had a wonderful return policy, and my sister’s two little girls were in the market for a brand new, already assembled, Barbie Dreamhouse.

“Time Of Your Life”

I share that story for laughs, but also because through all the chaos, stress, and heavy lifting, something special was brought to light. And without the Great Bed Debacle of 2024, it may have very well stayed in the dark, unrealized. During all the transitioning of Irelyn’s bedroom, a wall became bare. It had previously been the wall her old bed sat against, but as it turned out, the one change she did like was the new position of the new bed. So, we kept it that way. We put her old bed right where the new one had been. The bare wall now needed something to fill it.

 I didn’t feel like trying to find something new in a rush. I mean we all saw how well that went the first time around, so I decided to use items we already had to fill the blank canvas. I carefully chose items from around her room and in her closet and laid out my design on the floor. When it was all hung according to plan, I stood back to take in my finished work, similar to how I stood back to assess the Barbie Dreamhouse when completed. This time was much different, though. This time, I was not taking in the completion and addition of a hot pink monstrosity in my living room. This time, I was viewing something much more significant…

As my eyes began to scan over each part of the new wall collage, I was thrown into a time machine. Every item brought me somewhere different in the past. One picture had hung in my room as a child. As I stared more intensely, I was taken back 35 years ago, standing in the middle of that childhood bedroom. It had hung on the wall above my bed. It was an illustration of a mom and daughter praying together. They resembled my mom with short, blonde wavy hair and myself, as a child, with two dark brown little braids. I was standing on pinkish peach carpet, with dark enamel furniture in different corners, and baby animals on the wallpaper all around.

Another piece in the new collage had been in the “extra room” we had for only a little while when I was younger. It soon became my new room to make space for my little sister, which is when I assume I must have gained possession of the décor piece. I was transported to that extra room with its old hardwood flooring and sliding wood panel closets. I can’t remember exactly where it was hung, but the oval-shaped wooden vignette had a drawing of Holly Hobby on it (anyone else remember Holly?). She is holding an injured puppy, and at the top it reads:

So true. I had forgotten how much my mom use to like Holly Hobby. The scenery of those rooms were so vivid in my mind. How could that have been almost 40 years ago? But it was. Time does not stop.

My viewpoint shifted to a pink and white plaque I made a few years ago. I had chosen to paint a Bible verse on it, Numbers 6:24-26, more commonly known as The Blessing Prayer. Every night that I remember, I say this verse over each of our children before bed. They both have it almost memorized. The time machine took me to 2011 to our son’s baby dedication standing on the stage at our former church. It was a very happy time of celebration, where the verse first became personally significant to us as a family. It was engraved on the handmade wooden trunks we were given as a gift from the church.

Then, like a whirlwind, I was instantly beside my mother’s hospital bed in 2020, my hand on hers, leaning over and whispering the same verse in her ear. As I wondered if she heard me or not, I walked out of the hospital room knowing it would be my last time to see her before she went to Heaven. My insides went from celebration and joy to sorrow and emptiness from one memory to the very next. But, my sorrowful recollection was short lived as I was then whisked away to the many times after that God used the verse for reassurance. He had used it in the most creative ways to reassure me she did in fact hear me and she is in fact whole and healthy now in her true home with Him. How can one item represent so many times and emotions? But it can. Time creates memories.

My eyes still teary, from sad tears and happy ones, I moved to the mounted photograph of my mom hanging right beside the verse. The photo of her sitting at her favorite spot, in her favorite restaurant, at her favorite vacation destination. And just like that, I was right there, standing beside that exact table looking out at the water. We had gone there many times when I was younger for family vacations. I could almost smell the air. (Also, it was where I tried alligator bites! Poor choice.) Though I wasn’t present for this particular photo, I could see the scene perfectly. My dad was sitting across from her. She is peaceful, calm, and grateful. She was so grateful because life had been given back to her. A late-stage cancer diagnosis in 2011 had been cured – miraculously. She was able to be at her favorite spot again, and healthy again. Nothing could have been better, and her face shows this. She was radiantly glowing with faith, hope, and thankfulness. She looks Heavenly. How has she been gone from this earth for almost 4 years already? But she has. Time races and drags at the same time.

It was time to leave the waterfront restaurant, then, as the three white wooden letters at the top of the wall collage stole my attention. The letters are I, L, and A. They are our daughter’s initials, Irelyn Lane Aubel. All of the sudden I was standing in the middle of her nursery room in 2018, 9 months pregnant, hanging those letters above her crib. It brought about exciting memories of new life and new beginning. Then, I looked around that nursery room and remembered the feelings. The feelings that overtook my mind, our family, and our household minutes after she was born. Irelyn was delivered via C-section, shown to us quickly, and taken down to the NICU. She had low oxygen levels. Those, thankfully, turned out to only be due to a mild lung infection. It still required a very unexpected and nerve-wracking 7-day NICU stay, though. On top of that, I began to spiral into a state of post-partum depression and anxiety. The constant pit in my stomach I used to feel during those 5 to 6 months started to manifest itself as I looked back on one of the most trying times in my life. I couldn’t stay there any longer and forced the time machine to move on. Why do things like that happen in our lives? But they do. Time can be hard.

The last two items in the collage sent me to specific occasions. A painted canvas at the bottom of the collage reads “All good things are wild and free.” I was no longer looking at it on her bedroom wall. I was looking at it hung strategically in its designated spot in our community clubhouse. It was Irelyn’s first birthday party in August of 2019. Lots of people were talking, laughing, and hugging all around me. We had close family, friends, and neighbors. I turned to the right on my time warp pedestal and saw my mom, who had recently been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer after 8 years of clear scans. She was still smiling, meeting, and greeting everyone, though. This would be the only birthday party of Irelyn’s she would attend on this earth. Irelyn was the newest little princess in the line of grandchildren, and she was savoring every moment. There is a pink suede cowgirl hat next to that canvas, but, though the hat is adorable, it is not the hat that holds significance. It has a silver princess tiara placed around it. The tiara my mom gave to each of her little princess granddaughters the last Christmas she spent with us. Now, I was taken to Christmas day 2019. I was sitting on the floor of my mom and dad’s living room with all our family surrounding on chairs and couches. Gifts had been passed out and opened. The tiaras had been opened and were being worn. My mom was always good for saying she “forgot” one last special gift at the end of the festivities. She brought out two boxes from her bedroom, both the same, one for my sister and one for me. I already knew it would likely be something sentimental, but I wasn’t prepared for just how gripping it was. She had outdone herself this time. They were little mirrored jewelry boxes with velvet lining. The mirror on the top of mine said, “Kaycee, may others see God’s love shining in you; in your eyes, smile, words and heart. I love you always, Mom”. I didn’t want to believe it, but she knew her time here on earth was tapering. I thought, how could she know that? But she did. Time is fleeting.

I came back to the present, but, with a realization. As I went through each of those items and the memories connected to them, time started to take on a new meaning. In particular, I continued to think about the months after Irelyn’s birth, but not about the trials. Instead, I recalled the many hours Irelyn spent with my mom during that time period. Hours that were necessary to help with my situation but, in hindsight, were also necessary to allow my mother and Irelyn to have time together. If you would have asked me back then how I felt about the situation and the fact that my mom had to take a leave from work to travel an hour both ways, three days a week to help us, I would have said I wish it never happened. I would have said that it was one of the worst times in my life. I didn’t want to leave my bed much less my house and had little interest in anything at all other than sleeping. There was a constant anxious pit in my stomach no matter what I tried to do to make it go away. I would have said it was the most terrible feeling. I would have said I would never understand why I had to go through something like that. And, I would have, of course, said the same thing about my mother’s recurrence of cancer a little over a year later. But that is because I don’t see our time on this earth as God does. I can’t see the big picture like He can.

I want to be clear about the point I am not making first. God did not cause Irelyn to have a lung infection when she was born, or will for me to develop post-partum issues, or for my mother to have cancer. Those are all things the enemy intends for us in the broken world we live in. The point I am making is that God sees time from its beginning to its end as a whole and then also for each of us individually. Because of this fact, He knows what trials we are going to go through on this earth. And in turn, He uses His power for good even amidst those trials. Yes, that time in our lives was hard – extremely hard- on all of us. BUT – those same minutes, hours, and days were also some of the most special times my mother could have ever spent with Irelyn. I can assure you those special moments, in the same frequency and quantity, would not have occurred had I not been dealing with my postpartum depression and needing the extra help. Of course, she would have visited but living almost an hour away and working full time still, it would not have been nearly the same. I remember her telling me at one point during those days that she felt like God had given her a “redo”. When she had me, she was 24 years old and in college still, and then quickly found a teaching job. She was grateful for that but for some reason always felt bad she couldn’t be home with me much as a baby. (I can assure you I turned out fine – no childhood traumatization.). Nevertheless, she always felt like she missed something, and so, loved the hours she got to spend with her newborn grandchild. None of us had any idea how deeply meaningful those hours would become in the next year or so. How does God turn awful into special? But He does. Time is a priceless gift – from Him.

Time is a currency – similar to money in some ways, but much different in others. Like money, we need to spend our time wisely, paying close attention to how we spend it and who we choose to spend it with. Unlike money, time cannot be earned back, or invested to make more – once it is gone, it is gone. Time as a currency is invaluable. It is no coincidence to me that as I began writing this article focusing on the value of time, an old song from my childhood came on in the background. Perhaps you know it. It is by a band called Green Day and the song title is “Time of Your Life.” The chorus lyrics are:

And that is what I hope for you and me. Our time here is unpredictable for us, but in the end, God makes it right. So, I hope you have the time of your life.

The average person lives to be 80 years old. He/she will have taken approximately 216,262,500 steps in their lifetime. That’s an average of 7,500 steps per day. It also equals about 110,000 total miles. A person who exercises frequently would blow those numbers out of the water. Of all those steps, think about the very first step we take to begin the millions. At first, we are shaky, nervous, and uneasy because we have never done it before. But after we work up the bravery and courage to take that very first step, we become confident, even as toddlers. We start putting one foot in front of the other without even thinking. And so, begins a never-ending process of taking “the next step” the rest of our lives here on earth.

What happens, though, when we hit a bump in our road, or something that seems like an entire sinkhole has dropped out from in front of us? What happens, when we as grown adults, seemingly confident now in our 216,262,500 step journey, don’t know what our next step is, much less how to complete it? It seems when this occurs, we are sent right back to that shaky, nervous, uneasy toddler trying to walk. You’ve been there. I know you have. We all have at one point or another. What do we do when we don’t know where to place our next stride?

God Moment #13 – When You Don’t Know What’s Next

In the 39 years of my life so far, I have experienced different seasons just like the rest of the population. Some seasons include a smooth, straight, wide road. Other seasons seem to have nothing but hills, valleys, rough terrain, and craters. On the untroubled road, it is easy to be thankful, have confident faith, and remember to spend time with God each day. Unfortunately, those acts of faithfulness and gratitude seem to go by the wayside when the road becomes treacherous. Ironically, that is when they are most imperative. Does that resonate with you at all? I know I’m not the only one.

Over the past several months I have been working on a new project. This project required me at one point to go back to a written piece authored by my mother. For those of you just tuning in to my articles here, some brief backstory is necessary. My mom passed away in July 2020. She was initially diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2011. (That type of cancer, and at that stage, is usually called a death sentence). Her unbreakable faith and God-inspired modern medicine overcame that cancer for 8 years! For eight years she received a clean bill of health, scan after scan. It was a miracle. And for eight years, she decided to give back and help others going through the same difficult storm. She wrote and published a book about her experience. She donated every cent made from sales to ovarian cancer research and became an inspirational speaker travelling to women’s conferences all over the surrounding states. Her and my father even began a cancer care ministry at their hometown church. They truly made an impact in so many lives. In 2019, out of nowhere it seemed, the cancer returned on her liver. Almost a year later, to the day, God welcomed her to her true home. A little while after her death, I came across what appeared to be the start of a second book – a sequel to the first. (In case you are interested, the first was titled “Wrapped In His Arms Of Love”.) It began with a description of the day she found out the cancer had returned:

“Finding joy in the little things . . . walks at sunset, grandchildren giggling, and fresh laundry. . . this has been my way of life for the past eight years. God’s gift to me, to my family, of cancer in remission, had a way of teaching us to live a life of contentment, living each moment in the present. Nothing could steal our joy.

So, on that morning in July of 2019, as I pulled the lavender-scented sheets from the dryer, and the telephone was ringing in the kitchen above, I chose to ignore the ring, continuing to soak in the calming smells of lavender, as I tackled the folding of our fitted sheets. Does anyone really know how to fold a fitted sheet well? If you do, please share! My sheet folding skills make me laugh out loud at myself, as I try to remember the tips I watched on some online video. Finding the joy in the little things makes life sweet.

When we allow Christ to take hold of our hearts and transform us into His followers, it’s possible to be joyful, even in the midst of life’s sorrows. I’ve said these words countless times as I’ve spoken with women across the state of PA and beyond. That morning, as I clumsily folded our fitted sheets, Satan was about to make me prove that I believe those words. Taking aim, he successfully hit the bullseye of the target on my back, trying to take me down in the laundry room of my home.

I could hear a message being left on my answering machine upstairs, and it was the voice of Dr. Segreti, my oncologist. The sheets slipped through my hands, and fell onto the floor into a crumpled mound, when I recognized her voice coming from the upstairs phone, as she left a message for me to call her back.

 Amazing how that tiny word, for, puts the words of this scripture verse into perspective. We are never instructed that all things are good, but that all things work for good. What does God have in store for me now, I thought. Honestly, I’m really pretty happy the way life is right now, and I am not going to be happy when this next phone call flips our world upside down. . . again. But, I knew what was coming, even before I made the return phone call. Been there, done that, before.

God tells us in the Psalms to “Be still, and know that He is God.” He is in control, not us. The keyword in this verse for me is “Still.” It has two meanings for me. The meaning found in this verse, instructs us to become quiet, to calm down, to yield our warrior spirit over to our Heavenly Father and let Him take the wheel.

Which leads me to the second meaning of “still,” reminding me that no matter what trials come our way, our Heavenly Father is still in control, He is still by my side in every situation, He is still good, even when life is not.

I’m going to use this keyword, Still, to help us remember the points I’d like to share with you. The S in still reminds me to STOP, and call upon my Savior when those moments of anxiety first arise. Then I begin to recite my favorite scriptures of peace, which our Savior has provided to all of us for those times of fear. The Word of God is a gift that was given to us to use in our everyday lives, especially at those times when we, ourselves, are left speechless.

Before I picked up that phone to make a return call to my doctor, I reminded myself, through years of practice, that I needed to first stop, then pray to my Savior, which I did, asking the Holy Spirit to provide me with God’s peace.

Then, I chose to call upon scripture, our number one source for claiming the peace of God, and denouncing the fear that Satan puts into our hearts when life’s trials hunt us down. When facing fear and anxiety, my go-to verses are Philippians 4: 6-7. I’m sure these verses are a favorite for many of you, as well.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

Hearing my doctor’s words, “Kim, your tumor marker counts are high,” caused my heart to sigh. If you could hear a heart sigh, mine was audibly sighing. After eight years of clear scans and bloodwork numbers always coming out great, this came as quite a surprise.

After 31 ½ years of teaching in the public school system, I had retired just 14 days earlier. My grand plan was to finally enjoy being a homemaker and babysitter for my grandchildren. I felt that after taking care of everyone else’s children for so many years, it was about time to help my daughters with their little ones, and I couldn’t wait for this time in my life to begin.

It’s funny how our plans are often not what God has in store for us. We would always choose good things for our lives, wouldn’t we? Who is going to choose trials for themselves? But, sometimes God’s plan for us is quite shocking and hard, and it’s takes time before we’re ready to accept it. I have learned, though, that it is through the hard trials in my life when God has refined me, and changed me, more into the person He wants me to be as a Christ follower.

When we get to the other side of our pain, it is then we can see clearly how God used our trials FOR good. Eight years ago, if you had told me that Rod and I would be traveling the state of PA and beyond sharing my faith story with other women, I would have laughed and said I could not possibly have time to do that. But God has opened doors for us, and we faithfully step through them, to try and share with others how it is only through Christ’s strength that we are able to persevere and win our race.”

Unlike her first book, this short beginning to the next was never published – until now. The bold type are my own emphasis. Why? Because this is it. This is our answer to the question at hand. When we don’t know what to do next, when we feel like the entire world has dropped out from under us and we have no more footing – our next step is to pray. I am ashamed to admit how often I have forgotten this simple, yet most important step. As I think back to times in my life when I have worried to the point of making myself ill, or allowed my mind to go down rabbit holes, I wonder how much better would I have handled the difficulty had I remembered to stop and pray?

Oh, how I admire my mother’s words written above. Can you imagine knowing the person on the other end of a phone might tell you a deadly illness you had miraculously overcome, was back?! And then, having the wisdom to stop yourself and pray before calling back? Can you imagine the unwavering faith and self-discipline necessary to actually do that? But yet, she did. She stopped, and she prayed. Prayer should always be our next step. We shouldn’t even have to think about it. But then there’s this whole fall of Adam thing, sin entering the world, and all of us humans thinking we know what’s best sometimes, even though we don’t, right? (sarcasm) So, we don’t always pray when we should…regrettably.

Thank God we are saved by Jesus, though, because the Holy Spirit can send us little “taps on the shoulder” to remind us of prayer’s importance. I attended a conference last month and was given the opportunity to reconnect with one of my best girlfriends. We hadn’t seen each other for a while, but she is one of those friends that time doesn’t matter with – it will always be like we never missed a beat. In our conversation, at one point I mentioned I was struggling to make a decision about something. I shared how I had been going back and forth and just really didn’t know what the right move was. She responded very simply by asking, “Have you prayed about it?”

My knee-jerk thought was something like “What? Of course, I have. I mean, I’m a Christian, so of course I prayed about it!” But wait - had I? Before I responded, I stopped and thought for a moment. I had definitely thought about praying over the decision, but had I actually completed the act of talking to God and asking for his guidance? The honest answer was no. (Side note – this friend is slightly younger than me but obviously much wiser!) It hit me, and I was reminded of my mom’s writing. And then my memory was jogged even deeper…I recalled the piece of paper she had given me before her major surgery in 2011 after her first diagnosis. It had a printed Bible verse on it. She had given it to me to recite to myself to keep calm while she was going to be in surgery for 6 plus hours. (And here we are again – the victim consoling the bystander- she never ceased to amaze me!) The verse was Philippians 4:6-7. The same one she mentioned in what you read above. Our next step should always be to pray.

The reality is that praying is the single most important step we can take in our lives, other than accepting Jesus as our Savior in the first place. My mom knew that and knew it well. I did diligently pray about the situation I was trying to navigate after realizing my failure to do so. Wouldn’t you know, peace and contentment came along with a confident decision fairly soon after. That prayerful next step created easier strides for me moving forward, as well. What is it that you are stumbling over or frantically trying to find your footing with? Maybe you have hit a bump in your road with an unwanted or unexpected career change. Maybe the terrain has become treacherous trying to navigate raising children in the current broken world we live in. Or, perhaps your ground has just fallen right out from under you in grieving the sudden loss of a loved one. Whatever your road looks like right now, my prayer for you and I is that we would always remember to take our next step. I pray that we will remember to put our foot down with authority in Jesus name, stand firm in our faith, and fervently pray.

old. He/she will have taken approximately 216,262,500 steps in their lifetime. That’s an average of 7,500 steps per day. It also equals about 110,000 total miles. A person who exercises frequently would blow those numbers out of the water. Of all those steps, think about the very first step we take to begin the millions. At first, we are shaky, nervous, and uneasy because we have never done it before. But after we work up the bravery and courage to take that very first step, we become confident, even as toddlers. We start putting one foot in front of the other without even thinking. And so, begins a never-ending process of taking “the next step” the rest of our lives here on earth.

What happens, though, when we hit a bump in our road, or something that seems like an entire sinkhole has dropped out from in front of us? What happens, when we as grown adults, seemingly confident now in our 216,262,500 step journey, don’t know what our next step is, much less how to complete it? It seems when this occurs, we are sent right back to that shaky, nervous, uneasy toddler trying to walk. You’ve been there. I know you have. We all have at one point or another. What do we do when we don’t know where to place our next stride?

God Moment #13 – When You Don’t Know What’s Next

In the 39 years of my life so far, I have experienced different seasons just like the rest of the population. Some seasons include a smooth, straight, wide road. Other seasons seem to have nothing but hills, valleys, rough terrain, and craters. On the untroubled road, it is easy to be thankful, have confident faith, and remember to spend time with God each day. Unfortunately, those acts of faithfulness and gratitude seem to go by the wayside when the road becomes treacherous. Ironically, that is when they are most imperative. Does that resonate with you at all? I know I’m not the only one.

Over the past several months I have been working on a new project. This project required me at one point to go back to a written piece authored by my mother. For those of you just tuning in to my articles here, some brief backstory is necessary. My mom passed away in July 2020. She was initially diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2011. (That type of cancer, and at that stage, is usually called a death sentence). Her unbreakable faith and God-inspired modern medicine overcame that cancer for 8 years! For eight years she received a clean bill of health, scan after scan. It was a miracle. And for eight years, she decided to give back and help others going through the same difficult storm. She wrote and published a book about her experience. She donated every cent made from sales to ovarian cancer research and became an inspirational speaker travelling to women’s conferences all over the surrounding states. Her and my father even began a cancer care ministry at their hometown church. They truly made an impact in so many lives. In 2019, out of nowhere it seemed, the cancer returned on her liver. Almost a year later, to the day, God welcomed her to her true home. A little while after her death, I came across what appeared to be the start of a second book – a sequel to the first. (In case you are interested, the first was titled “Wrapped In His Arms Of Love”.) It began with a description of the day she found out the cancer had returned:

“Finding joy in the little things . . . walks at sunset, grandchildren giggling, and fresh laundry. . . this has been my way of life for the past eight years. God’s gift to me, to my family, of cancer in remission, had a way of teaching us to live a life of contentment, living each moment in the present. Nothing could steal our joy.

So, on that morning in July of 2019, as I pulled the lavender-scented sheets from the dryer, and the telephone was ringing in the kitchen above, I chose to ignore the ring, continuing to soak in the calming smells of lavender, as I tackled the folding of our fitted sheets. Does anyone really know how to fold a fitted sheet well? If you do, please share! My sheet folding skills make me laugh out loud at myself, as I try to remember the tips I watched on some online video. Finding the joy in the little things makes life sweet.

When we allow Christ to take hold of our hearts and transform us into His followers, it’s possible to be joyful, even in the midst of life’s sorrows. I’ve said these words countless times as I’ve spoken with women across the state of PA and beyond. That morning, as I clumsily folded our fitted sheets, Satan was about to make me prove that I believe those words. Taking aim, he successfully hit the bullseye of the target on my back, trying to take me down in the laundry room of my home.

I could hear a message being left on my answering machine upstairs, and it was the voice of Dr. Segreti, my oncologist. The sheets slipped through my hands, and fell onto the floor into a crumpled mound, when I recognized her voice coming from the upstairs phone, as she left a message for me to call her back.

 Amazing how that tiny word, for, puts the words of this scripture verse into perspective. We are never instructed that all things are good, but that all things work for good. What does God have in store for me now, I thought. Honestly, I’m really pretty happy the way life is right now, and I am not going to be happy when this next phone call flips our world upside down. . . again. But, I knew what was coming, even before I made the return phone call. Been there, done that, before.

God tells us in the Psalms to “Be still, and know that He is God.” He is in control, not us. The keyword in this verse for me is “Still.” It has two meanings for me. The meaning found in this verse, instructs us to become quiet, to calm down, to yield our warrior spirit over to our Heavenly Father and let Him take the wheel.

Which leads me to the second meaning of “still,” reminding me that no matter what trials come our way, our Heavenly Father is still in control, He is still by my side in every situation, He is still good, even when life is not.

I’m going to use this keyword, Still, to help us remember the points I’d like to share with you. The S in still reminds me to STOP, and call upon my Savior when those moments of anxiety first arise. Then I begin to recite my favorite scriptures of peace, which our Savior has provided to all of us for those times of fear. The Word of God is a gift that was given to us to use in our everyday lives, especially at those times when we, ourselves, are left speechless.

Before I picked up that phone to make a return call to my doctor, I reminded myself, through years of practice, that I needed to first stop, then pray to my Savior, which I did, asking the Holy Spirit to provide me with God’s peace.

Then, I chose to call upon scripture, our number one source for claiming the peace of God, and denouncing the fear that Satan puts into our hearts when life’s trials hunt us down. When facing fear and anxiety, my go-to verses are Philippians 4: 6-7. I’m sure these verses are a favorite for many of you, as well.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

Hearing my doctor’s words, “Kim, your tumor marker counts are high,” caused my heart to sigh. If you could hear a heart sigh, mine was audibly sighing. After eight years of clear scans and bloodwork numbers always coming out great, this came as quite a surprise.

After 31 ½ years of teaching in the public school system, I had retired just 14 days earlier. My grand plan was to finally enjoy being a homemaker and babysitter for my grandchildren. I felt that after taking care of everyone else’s children for so many years, it was about time to help my daughters with their little ones, and I couldn’t wait for this time in my life to begin.

It’s funny how our plans are often not what God has in store for us. We would always choose good things for our lives, wouldn’t we? Who is going to choose trials for themselves? But, sometimes God’s plan for us is quite shocking and hard, and it’s takes time before we’re ready to accept it. I have learned, though, that it is through the hard trials in my life when God has refined me, and changed me, more into the person He wants me to be as a Christ follower.

When we get to the other side of our pain, it is then we can see clearly how God used our trials FOR good. Eight years ago, if you had told me that Rod and I would be traveling the state of PA and beyond sharing my faith story with other women, I would have laughed and said I could not possibly have time to do that. But God has opened doors for us, and we faithfully step through them, to try and share with others how it is only through Christ’s strength that we are able to persevere and win our race.”

Unlike her first book, this short beginning to the next was never published – until now. The bold type are my own emphasis. Why? Because this is it. This is our answer to the question at hand. When we don’t know what to do next, when we feel like the entire world has dropped out from under us and we have no more footing – our next step is to pray. I am ashamed to admit how often I have forgotten this simple, yet most important step. As I think back to times in my life when I have worried to the point of making myself ill, or allowed my mind to go down rabbit holes, I wonder how much better would I have handled the difficulty had I remembered to stop and pray?

Oh, how I admire my mother’s words written above. Can you imagine knowing the person on the other end of a phone might tell you a deadly illness you had miraculously overcome, was back?! And then, having the wisdom to stop yourself and pray before calling back? Can you imagine the unwavering faith and self-discipline necessary to actually do that? But yet, she did. She stopped, and she prayed. Prayer should always be our next step. We shouldn’t even have to think about it. But then there’s this whole fall of Adam thing, sin entering the world, and all of us humans thinking we know what’s best sometimes, even though we don’t, right? (sarcasm) So, we don’t always pray when we should…regrettably.

Thank God we are saved by Jesus, though, because the Holy Spirit can send us little “taps on the shoulder” to remind us of prayer’s importance. I attended a conference last month and was given the opportunity to reconnect with one of my best girlfriends. We hadn’t seen each other for a while, but she is one of those friends that time doesn’t matter with – it will always be like we never missed a beat. In our conversation, at one point I mentioned I was struggling to make a decision about something. I shared how I had been going back and forth and just really didn’t know what the right move was. She responded very simply by asking, “Have you prayed about it?”

My knee-jerk thought was something like “What? Of course, I have. I mean, I’m a Christian, so of course I prayed about it!” But wait - had I? Before I responded, I stopped and thought for a moment. I had definitely thought about praying over the decision, but had I actually completed the act of talking to God and asking for his guidance? The honest answer was no. (Side note – this friend is slightly younger than me but obviously much wiser!) It hit me, and I was reminded of my mom’s writing. And then my memory was jogged even deeper…I recalled the piece of paper she had given me before her major surgery in 2011 after her first diagnosis. It had a printed Bible verse on it. She had given it to me to recite to myself to keep calm while she was going to be in surgery for 6 plus hours. (And here we are again – the victim consoling the bystander- she never ceased to amaze me!) The verse was Philippians 4:6-7. The same one she mentioned in what you read above. Our next step should always be to pray.

The reality is that praying is the single most important step we can take in our lives, other than accepting Jesus as our Savior in the first place. My mom knew that and knew it well. I did diligently pray about the situation I was trying to navigate after realizing my failure to do so. Wouldn’t you know, peace and contentment came along with a confident decision fairly soon after. That prayerful next step created easier strides for me moving forward, as well. What is it that you are stumbling over or frantically trying to find your footing with? Maybe you have hit a bump in your road with an unwanted or unexpected career change. Maybe the terrain has become treacherous trying to navigate raising children in the current broken world we live in. Or, perhaps your ground has just fallen right out from under you in grieving the sudden loss of a loved one. Whatever your road looks like right now, my prayer for you and I is that we would always remember to take our next step. I pray that we will remember to put our foot down with authority in Jesus name, stand firm in our faith, and fervently pray.

My daughter, Irelyn, ate a bag of potato chips for breakfast today. And they were not organic, plant-based, or homemade. They were good old yellow, oily, salty potato chips. Why might I allow my 5-year-old to consume this breakfast of champions you ask? My answer is simple- somewhat. She has gone almost her entire 5 years of life on this earth never really eating breakfast food. She just doesn’t like it. She will not eat breakfast unless it includes freshly made pasta or rice. It’s not really a huge inconvenience to put a pot on the stove and boil water, except when it’s the very first day of kindergarten and the bus arrives at 8:34am. On previous days, I wouldn’t have minded if she just didn’t eat breakfast at all, because I could give her an early lunch at whatever time she decided she was hungry. But, again, it was the first day of school and I knew she would be starving by the designated lunch time.

In the half hour before the bus came, I made microwavable French toast sticks that ended up in the garbage disposal, offered Dunkaroos that were opened and thrown in the trash, and an apple sauce pouch that was shut down upon sight. All were met with grumpy, whiney, opposition. I gave up. I told her she would just be very hungry later. She would have to figure that out the hard way. Then, she asked, “Can I have chips, Mom?”

I stopped and thought for a moment. Chips, really? I could either argue for the next 20 minutes we had left before the bus came for her very first day of kindergarten, or I could give in to the junk food for breakfast request and enjoy my last few minutes with the kids before they leave for school. You know what? Yes, girl, yes, you can have chips! You can have as many chips as you want at this very moment in time! And guess what? I would make the same decision all over again – hydrogenated oil and all! The reason is because when she asked for those chips, not only was I reminded to pick and choose my battles, but I was also brought back to a situation our family experienced a few months ago. It was a situation in which I learned a valuable lesson about focusing on the good that is all around us if we just choose to see it, rather than the bad that tries to steal our joy, kill our spirit, and destroy our destinies.

God Moment #12 – A Bag of Chips

Since my mother passed away in 2020, my dad has been renting a beach house once a year for our family to vacation together. It has become a new tradition. This past June, we went to Anna Maria Island, Florida. Tim, my husband, made it a point to meticulously plan our arrival and departures well in advance. He had an early flight for the four of us that would get us there with more than half the day left to start the first day of vacation. They were also first-class seats – so I did not mind getting up extremely early. To make things even easier, we decided to stay at the airport hotel the night before our 6am flight so that all we had to do was go down an elevator in the morning and walk through the entrance into the airport. Because of one short layover we were set to arrive at the Sarasota airport from Pittsburgh around 10:30am. We had it all figured out – and with comfort seating!

The alarm that morning went off at 3:30am in the hotel room. We felt like zombies, but knew we were only hours away from being at the beach! Tim checked his phone briefly before getting out of bed. His next comment would be just the beginning of our future travel woes.

He said, “That’s odd, our flight just got delayed by 10 minutes.”

My first thought was 10 minutes isn’t that big of a deal, but Tim travels frequently for work, and he knows the signs of when something isn’t quite right. He suggested we hurry and get through security in case we needed to figure out last minute changes. I still didn’t really understand why we would need to worry about a 10-minute delay, but I quickly learned. As the delay got longer and longer in 20-minute increments after that, I realized his concern. By the time we got to the baggage desk to check our luggage, it was clear that this flight wasn’t going to make it to Pittsburgh to pick us up any time soon. It was now showing a delay of just an hour or so on our phone app, however, the woman working at the baggage desk for the airline assured us that we would need to figure out another plan because our plane was showing as still on the ground in Dallas, Texas, on her screen.

Okay, so we just need to book a different flight then, right? If only it were that simple. There were no other flights with our airline going to Sarasota that day, and EVERY other airline offering a flight was full. Tim stayed at the desk trying to figure out our best option for the next 45 minutes. It was decided that we would stay on our original flight because it finally showed it had taken off from Dallas. Okay, problem solved! Just kidding, because there was now no way we would make our connecting flight at the next stop. We were going to have to transfer to a new flight that had exactly 4 seats left – in random spots, not together, and, fly into a different airport. We would then drive almost two hours in our rental car to our final destination. Is your head spinning yet? (That was our only option if we wanted to arrive in Anna Maria Island on that day still.) Our 10:30am arrival time was now looking like a 5pm arrival or later. We also had to hope that we could convince other passengers once we were on our second flight to swap seats with us so that we could sit with our children – not nerve-wrecking at all.

All of this said, we did finally make it to Anna Maria Island and to the house to meet my dad and grandparents around 6pm that day. We were exhausted, hungry, angry, and just totally spent. But, the next morning, we woke up to sunshine, white sand, and two kids that couldn’t wait to get down to the beach. Tim and I needed some coffee first (okay lots of coffee), but we were excited as well. We were there for 6 days with my dad and his parents. We had an amazing time. We got to spend time together that we never really get to do on a normal basis. We saw sunsets that were breathtaking. We had a good laugh about some of the most hysterical things that happened while we were there. It was either laugh or puke when my dad tried to use the house’s sweeper and we all quickly realized that no one had changed the bag on it for years it seemed, because it smelled like death when he turned it on. The comments my dad and my husband were making during this fiasco gave me sore ab muscles and cheeks. We rode golf carts around the island searching for mysterious geo-caches that my son Trenton just had to find. Not sure how long it took us, but we found them all! (If you don’t know what that is, look it up – it’s actually a fun experience for kids.). Anyway, you get my point. It was a great time and great memories were made.

Our time to go home came too quick, but nothing lasts forever. So, we returned to the Tampa airport for our departing flight scheduled to leave around 11am. We had no idea what we were in for over the next 24 hours. Unfortunately, as soon as we checked our luggage at the airport, the delay notification came through on Tim’s phone. We couldn’t believe it. Here we go again. And as I am sure you are already assuming, yes, it was delayed so far out that we would now miss our connecting flight, again, in Charlotte. Once in Charlotte, things became much worse. Almost the entire plane full of passengers was trying to make a connection, and the airline had no more flights going out that day. None.

“Fun” fact: When you miss a connecting flight and you have checked luggage, it is nearly impossible to retrieve that luggage to be used for your unplanned overnight stay in a hotel. You can “request” for it to be pulled, but you are not guaranteed to receive it and your given estimated wait is anywhere from 1 to 3 hours.

The four of us waited at baggage claim from 7pm to 10:15pm. To really give you a realistic idea of how things were going during those three plus hours, I need to give you a little more detail to set the scene. First, none of us had eaten more than the two-inch snack bags of Chex mix they give you on the plane all day long. My anxiety medication that I need every night was in our luggage. It seemed that no one working thought there was any sense of urgency for the passengers wanting their luggage for the night. And of course, we had two children with us which basically doubles the stress of a negative situation. My anxiety began to set in full force around 9:30pm (I was surprised I held it off that long, honestly).

We still had no answers for our luggage, no food options other than a vending machine, and no idea how much longer we would be waiting. I started to panic. The shortness of breath, emotional tears, and racing heart took over. I had to step outside. Our son, Trenton, was unfortunately born with some of my less desirable characteristics, and so, he began to feed off his mother’s emotions and actions. His tears started. My poor husband, my gosh, I don’t know how he holds it all together when the rest of us fall apart. He kept calm the whole time. Though ridiculously frustrated, he just continued to wait in line, time after time, to continue asking for updates on the luggage. He reminded the workers over and over of the necessity for at least the one piece of luggage that had my medication in it.

It eventually became so late, and Trenton and I became so distraught, that Tim told us to take Irelyn and grab the shuttle to the hotel. The hotel restaurant was closing at 11pm, so that would be our last chance for any type of real food for the day. I really did not want to leave Tim by himself in the airport just waiting, and I was so nervous at this point I wasn’t sure I would be able to hold myself together with both kids on the shuttle bus by myself. Tim could see my concern and instructed Trenton to try his best to keep me calm and help with Irelyn. All I could think was “What is wrong with me?! I am supposed to be the parent here, not my 11-year-old!” But if you have ever dealt with a diagnosis of anxiety, then you know that sometimes it is out of your control.

Before we walked outside to wait for the shuttle, Irelyn asked, “Mom, can I get a bag of chips from the vending machine?” If you haven’t noticed, I didn’t have much to say above about Irelyn. Why? Because she was actually completely fine during all of this. She was 4 at the time, and all she really cared about was she was with her family and there was a favorite snack she could now get for the shuttle ride. In fact, she was kind of excited to ride a “shuttle”. She watched her iPad on a chair most of the time we were in baggage claim, not worried about any of the chaos going on around her or what was going to happen. She had total faith in her father to figure things out. (Hmmm….that sounds like a good idea, huh?) And when someone told her it was time to go and move on to the next thing, she said okay, just get me some chips for the ride please, and we did.

The next part of this story is what you might call the turning point. We reluctantly left Tim to wait on my bag and went outside for our shuttle. I was still upset, shaky, and just trying to keep it together for both kids. I was also praying that I would make it through the shuttle ride without falling back into a full-blown panic attack. The shuttle pulled up and the driver, a small, older gentleman, got out to help us on. No one else was waiting so it was just the three of us for the ride.

As we began to pull away from the airport, the driver started up conversation with us. He first asked how our day had been. I answered bluntly, “Well, honestly, it’s been really bad.” He asked why, of course, and I gave him a shortened version. After that, he responded with, “Well, you had a good time on your vacation though, right? You got to make a lot of memories with your family, right?” My shakiness slowly started to dissipate. In just that split second after those words, my perspective was completely shifted. How had I so quickly forgotten about the amazing trip we had just been on?

I said, “Yes, yes we did.”

He replied, “Well that’s the important part. You got to make those memories.”

He then continued to ask about where we went, what we did, and who was there with us. I then found out he was retired and had chosen to drive the shuttle because he found real fulfillment in it. He said he tried hobbies and things like that after retiring, but none of that fulfilled him like talking to people when he drives the shuttle. He had retired from being a social worker, which is a very trying job. He said he loved it, though, and missed it sometimes. I was so surprised to hear someone say they missed a job that requires countless unpaid hours and dealing with some of the saddest situations on this earth. Throughout the rest of the conversation, Trenton was all ears, as well, and chimed in a few times to tell the driver about the sports he was playing and his bedroom at home being decorated recently with sports memorabilia. Needless to say, by the time we arrived at the hotel, Trenton and I were both in a completely different state of mind…and Irelyn had finished her bag of potato chips.

As we walked towards the doors, Trenton and I looked at each other. We were thinking the same thing, I could tell. He looked up at me and said, “Mom, I think God sent us that driver.” I had to agree.

We hurried inside to order food before the hotel restaurant closed in 10 minutes. (I’m sure they loved receiving our last-minute order.). We took the food up to the room, ate, and laid down in our clothes as we had no pajamas to change into, but by that time, I really didn’t care anymore. We had a nice hotel room, the kids were resting, and I was calming down. I sat there thinking that I just didn’t even care anymore about the flight changes, the waits, the stress, the luggage, or the not-so-nice workers. I was giving all that up to God – which I should have done to begin with. We had been blessed with a memorable vacation and all I had been allowing to consume my mind were the awful travel experiences, that in all reality, did eventually get us where we needed to be, and safely at that. I decided at that very moment that if I never got my medication that night for my anxiety, I would be okay. God would take care of me. He had just blatantly shown me an example of that on the shuttle ride.

Would you believe that just seconds after I came to that state of peace, Tim texted to say a manager was finally able to get my bag with the medication in it? He would be on his way to us on the next shuttle. When I exercised the faith I should have had all along, God was faithful. When I had total faith in my Father figuring things out, like Irelyn waiting in the chaos at the airport, He did.

When Tim finally got to the room, we were exhausted, so I didn’t mention anything about the driver and our conversation until the next day. But when I did, Tim said he knew something had happened, because he couldn’t believe the difference in Trenton and me from when we left him at the airport to when he arrived at the hotel room. There was no longer an underlying feeling of distress, anger, and anxiety, even though the negative situation really hadn’t changed. We had not magically received all our luggage or been given a new flight to take us home that night. The situation remained, but our focus had changed. We had been given a refresher from that nice shuttle driver on how to enjoy the ride, so to speak.

Life is like a rollercoaster at times with high highs, and low lows, some that take your breath away. But no matter what, there are always parts of the ride that are enjoyable, and we must choose to focus on those parts. If we don’t, all the negative parts start to bleed together and erase the good. It’s that thief, remember? He comes to steal our joy. So, let’s not let him. Let’s choose to stand firm in the truth that we are children of God, and He comes that we may have life and have it to the full!

And don’t forget to grab a bag of chips for the ride.

“It’s here! Mom! Mom! It’s here!” I heard Trenton yell from our front door. I came downstairs and it was what I expected. The basketball hoop we had ordered for him had finally arrived. What I did not expect was how much flatter and smaller the box was than what I had envisioned in my head for a full-size portable basketball hoop. Ha – The joke was on me this time because it was definitely the hoop…in many, many pieces – several more pieces than I knew a basketball hoop to be made from. I mean, who knew?

It was a Friday and so Trenton of course wanted it assembled right away so he could start playing with his neighborhood friends. Basketball is his newfound obsession. I hope it stays that way because it turns out he does pretty good! Anyway, I knew I myself could not put this thing together, so I told him we needed to wait for dad to come home from work. So, as soon as he walked in the door – yes, you guessed it. No “Hey, dad, how was your day?” It sounded more like this “Dad, Mom said as soon as you got home from work, we could put together my basketball hoop! So, can we do that right now?!” Tim replied in his nicest, non-stressed, end-of-a-long-workday-on-a-Friday voice, “Sure, just let me change my clothes.”

When we got out to the driveway to start this endeavor, we realized that not only was it the hottest day western PA had experienced so far this spring, but it was also the hottest time of the day as well, on a blacktop driveway facing the midday sun straight on. We immediately knew this was going to be “really fun.”

A little less than two hours later (give us a break- we had a 4-year-old riding her scooter in circles around the parts and pieces asking for more juice and potty breaks every 20 minutes and a bunch of 11-year-old boys anxiously hovering), the hoop was finally done! Tim and I both needed second showers for the day, and we were…let’s just say not quite as patient with each other as we normally would be. You know the scene I’m describing. I am positive that you have experienced a similar one in your lifetime.

However, after the hoop was put in its designated spot on the driveway, Tim and I were both sitting in patio chairs with cold drinks, the sun was very close to the horizon line, and our ridiculously excited son was playing basketball with friends and amazingly including his 4-year-old sister. Right then, viewing this new scene, I realized it was all about the mission. Not the small mission of simply assembling an item, but THE mission, the larger picture, if you will, of creating joy within Trenton and seeing it manifest. I thought to myself, wow, look what that small, somewhat irritating, task created and allowed to happen. Completing it first, allowed for a larger, much more significant goal to be completed.

And then other wheels started to turn, and it began to register that the classic game of basketball, and how it is played, can actually be used as a metaphor for the steps that we must go through to be able to recognize God’s voice when He speaks to us, discern what it means, and then follow through with it as He intends.

God Moment #11: All About THE Mission

In my last article I kind of left you hanging, wondering what the reason was for the “break” I was taking from my successful personally owned business. Honestly, I was left hanging as well. I had no idea why the pause was necessary. I only knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to and that I wanted to be obedient. So, I did it. I took a break, out of obedience and trust in God. It is a hard thing to do, especially when you don’t have a clue what your next step is.

Though my spirit had peace with God about being obedient, my flesh still felt uneasy, nervous, and doubtful. I wonder if Noah felt that way as he followed God’s instruction to build an enormous boat with no natural signs of a flood coming, or if Abraham had doubts as God told him to leave everything he knew and go to an unknown country? I am sure they did, because they were human. I forget that sometimes, though. The Bible contains such amazing stories that often I forget those people were just like us. It wasn’t a movie. It was real life. I guess if they could trust God with those life changing events then I should be able to trust him with my much smaller issue. That puts things into perspective a bit.

Noah eventually saw the reason why he was told to build an ark. Abraham eventually came to see why he was told to leave his home. And, I have been given answers over the past few months as to why I needed to step back from my business, regardless of how successful it was. God is great like that. He always keeps His promises, and He is always trustworthy, even when we are doubtful. It became apparent that I needed reminded of a few things when it comes to knowing God’s voice and the missions He has planned for us. As it turns out, God doesn’t want me to try to control everything. That’s His job. Deep down we all know that to be true, but sometimes we need a refresher.

Conditioning and Practice-

Off season conditioning and practices are imperative for basketball players. You cannot skip conditioning or practice and expect to go into a game and play at your best, much less win. And similarly, we cannot expect to know how to discern the voice of God, what the instruction is, and then how to complete it without constantly “practicing” our spirituality. This means we must exercise our spirit. How do we exercise something we can’t see?

1. We read the Bible first – it’s our playbook. We try to memorize scripture as best we can- like memorizing plays for a game. Our game is called life.

2. We talk to God through prayer, and most importantly, listen for His response – He is our coach. He is going to tell us how to execute the mission.

3. We seek godly counsel, other Christians we trust – they are our teammates. They tell us the truth, even if we don’t want to hear it. They tell us in a constructive manner because they care about us and our well-being.

4. We listen to worship music – it’s like fans in a crowd getting us pumped up and encouraged during a game. It gets our spiritual adrenaline flowing.

5. We engage in other Christian resources, like books, podcasts, and sermons – it’s like the extra practice you are supposed to do on your own outside of the team practices. (Side note – My sister played basketball when she was in high school and held the three-point record for three years. My dad made her shoot 200 baskets every day in our driveway, even after team practices.)

All of this prepares our spirit for when the Holy Spirit communicates with us. It hones our spirit in to truly hearing Him and what He wants us to do.

The Opposing Team:

There is always an opposing team in a basketball game. Usually there is one team that is notoriously considered the biggest rival . Well, friends, our biggest rival in the game of life is the enemy, Satan. He is just as real as a rival basketball team. I have trouble accepting this at times. I tend to forget that there is actually a real, opposing spirit trying desperately to ruin all good on this earth. Also just like a rival team, He will study us and try to get at us where we are weak. He will try to trip us up just when we feel like we have it figured out.

A perfect example of this was very shortly after I decided to follow God’s direction and put my business on hold. For about a week’s time I really thought in my mind the business was done for good. I thought God wanted me to stop using my abilities all together because I had mistakenly used them incorrectly somehow. So, basically, I was being punished for allowing the business to take up too much of my time that was supposed to be used for other purposes– I wasn’t sure, but I started to feel guilty about even starting my business, sad about completely closing it, and condemnation about the whole situation in general.

Thank God, my spiritual conditioning brought me to this excerpt in a book I was reading at the time by Priscilla Shirer:

“The purpose of the voice of conviction is to press you into the face of Christ.” ~Bob Sorge (emphasis mine)

And then also to this Bible verse-

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” ~ Romans 8:1 (emphasis mine again)

After reading both of those, I knew that God would never want me to stop using the artistic ability He himself put within me. He was not punishing me either. He does not do that. He just wanted me to step back, take a breath, listen, and re-evaluate. He wanted me to do some off-season conditioning so I could come back a little stronger, a little more focused, a little more ready to listen to the coach, and a little more ready to complete His missions, under His terms.

Like I said before, Satan, our biggest rival, is so very skilled at trying to mess things up for us. Those thoughts and feelings of guilt, sadness, and condemnation were from him – not the Holy Spirit. We have to be on guard for his trick plays.

Time Out:

During my “time out,” even though I knew the business wasn’t done for good, I still wasn’t sure at that point how to move forward. But soon it started to come to light – as all things do. I think of the crucial time out that a coach calls when a game is tied and there is little time left on the clock. That time out is used to figure out the winning play.

The book of the Bible I had been reading during this time period was the book of Acts. I am still not finished, but I’m trying. Regardless, I have made my way far enough to see exactly why I was supposed to read it during the “time out.” It is mostly about Saul, or Paul, I should say. His name changes after he becomes a believer. Saul starts out as a horrific human being. He is a murderer – of anyone who followed Jesus.  Like I mean, He would specifically hunt for followers of Jesus so he could arrest them or kill them. He thought they were blaspheming God by believing in Jesus Christ as the Messiah. But – get this, Jesus himself comes to Saul on his way to Damascus, to likely kill more followers, and blinds him with bright light (probably the light of Jesus himself). Saul can’t see at all. He must have his soldiers help him get to Damascus where he finally humbles himself and believes in Jesus. He is mercifully given back his sight and filled with the Holy Spirit. This same man is later known as the Apostle Paul who preaches about Jesus over 10,000 miles of the Roman Empire, even appearing before Caesar. Talk about a total 180. So, the book of Acts is about the Acts of the Holy Spirit through Paul as he continues his new found mission to spread the Good News of Jesus to anyone who will listen. He is met with TONS of opposition, but he doesn’t care. He just keeps on going. He is all about the mission. THE mission. Along the way he had small missions day by day – he helped people, showed kindness, healed people, and prayed for others to name a few. But by completing those daily tasks, he was also completing THE greatest mission of bringing others to Jesus and rescuing their souls for eternity.

In Season:

There it was. I knew exactly what God was telling me. Sure, I knew I needed to change my business plan with new ideas, time restraints, and less overwhelm, but what God really wanted me to see was how I was viewing the daily missions he set in place for me. When I thought in depth, over the past months, I had become fairly aggravated if I didn’t get to check off the items I had written on that day in my schedule (yep, I’m old – my schedule is still on paper – it’s okay). If I couldn’t control my day to look the way I imagined, I considered it a fail, and thus the aggravation set in, which would filter into the rest of the day and even sometimes the next morning. I was recognizing, as I continued to read through Paul’s journeys, that mydays can’t always be what I want them to be- because it’s not all about me. It’s about the bigger picture, THE mission. I’m positive Noah, Abraham, and Paul would have all loved to sit down and write out their agendas each day and check the list off one by one with ease. But we all know that’s not what they did. God wants us to live each day willing to live for Him, and what He has written in our planners.

I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and then also a business owner, a writer, and a few other titles as well depending on the day! We all wear many more hats than we realize. Some days, my missions will not include working with my business at all. Some days my missions will be to fold laundry and clean bathrooms, then go sit for hours at a sporting event or dance recital. Some days my mission will be to simply get through the day without losing my temper. (You know the days I’m talking about.) On the other side of these smaller missions God puts in place, is the greater one at hand, to do our part to bring all of those around us closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

So, during the “season” of life on this earth, we are all as Christians on one team for God. We all have different positions chosen for us by our coach, according to the skills and abilities that were woven into us even before birth. Much like a basketball game, at different points during life, God, our coach, tells us what “plays” to run to get closer to accomplishing the win. In our instance, the win is THE mission we have been talking about. We each have our own positions we are responsible for and those include personal tasks assigned to us. And when all the players complete their own tasks as instructed, the game is won, or, I should say, souls are won. Souls are saved. Souls are rescued. And when the final buzzer sounds on this life, we have defeated the opposing team, a crowd of angels in Heaven cheer, and the coach says “Great game, my good and faithful servant!”……or you know, something like that.

My son Trenton is 11 years old. Right now, he plays baseball and takes electric guitar lessons. Over the 11 years of his life span, though, he has tried everything from taekwondo to violin and all kinds of things in between. He sees something that looks interesting and feels a “nudge”. He never ignores that feeling. He goes all in with it. He doesn’t consider the financial aspects, or countless hours of practice it might require, or even just the overall difficulty of the activity itself. He is always “open” to that nudge to try something new. It is such an admirable part of his 11-year-old personality (although sometimes exhausting for Tim and I as parents!).

I thought about this quality of his recently when I came across a specific word in a text I am reading for a bible study group. The word is “kairos”. It is connected with Ephesians 6 when Paul says to pray at all times.

The text explains that when Paul says to “pray at all times”, he is not referring to time in a general sense like telling time on a clock or just time that goes by. The original Greek word for “at all times” translated in this verse is the word “kairos.” I researched this a little further and other definitions stated “right time”, “opportune moment”, and “critical moment”. This word was actually used 86 times in the Bible in the original Greek text to describe moments when God would provide a spiritual opportunity.

Pastor JD Greear of The Summit Church in Raleigh, NC explains it this way:

The key word to me in all of this, that is present in every definition no matter the source, is “opportunity”. And the simple definition of opportunity is a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something. Therefore, for our purposes here, kairos is referring to the times when God uses the Holy Spirit to speak to us or show us something that He is giving us the spiritual opportunity to do or not do. We have a choice. We have free will. The crucial part of this relies solely on our reaction to the opportunity given.

As adults, we tend to view these moments much differently than Trenton views his little “nudges” to try a new activity. We tend to shy away, become fearful, or refer to past times that didn’t go as we had planned. I have learned that we as adults can choose to react in one of three different ways to the voice of the Holy Spirit during our own “kairos moments.” That’s correct. We can choose. What are these three different responses? Well, I am a visual person, so I thought you might also enjoy some visual aids.

God Moments #10 “Kairos Time”

For some reason I was drawn to the old photo albums I have in our basement while sorting out my thoughts for this article. I don’t go to them much. Usually, they make me sad because my mom is not with us anymore, but this time I was drawn to photos of my dad and I. As I sat on the floor Indian style, leafing through the pages, a connection was made among three of my favorite photos of he and I as a child. All three of them are just my dad and me, no one else. And each one shows a different interaction between the two of us as child and father.

In the first one you see below, which is the oldest one, I am very young. I am guessing I am about 5 years old. We are in our backyard flying a kite. Have you ever tried to fly a kite? It’s nearly impossible for me, even as an adult. I just can’t do it, but my dad was always able to tell the best days for it and he was always able to get that thing up in the air – and stay up in the air. After he would get it up there and stable, he would hand it to me. That is what you see in this photo. He is standing beside me, smiling so big, because he sees what he put up in that sky for me. And now, I am holding on to it for dear life with my tiny 5-year-old body just hoping it will stay there. I am just standing still, holding on, and hoping.

Does this sound familiar at all? Are there not times when we feel a small “nudge” from the Holy Spirit, but we feel inexperienced, “young” in our faith, or like we could never really do that? And so, we stand still, right where we are, and just hope that God will do something. We love Him, we know He loves us, but we don’t fully grasp what he has for us because we are timid or diffident in our faith. He is right there beside us, smiling, wanting us to just do it! That’s one way we can respond to kairos moments, but it doesn’t help us get any closer to following the Holy Spirit’s direction and purpose for our lives.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, the second photo you see here is my Dad and I much later in life. The date on the photo is 1996. I used to LOVE riding roller coasters with him. We would go to all the major amusement parks in the summers just to stand in line for hours for the biggest, newest, tallest, fastest, most dangerous (as my mom viewed it) roller coaster there. I look back now and have no idea how he did it as an adult or why I even liked them so much as a child. I would scream, absolutely terrified, on every single hill, corkscrew or loopty loop, and call it “so much fun”.

Anyways, the photo you see here was taken by the park coming down the first and largest hill of the Lochness Monster at Busch Gardens. As you can see, my dad is carefree and laughing. And I am screaming so hard I think my eyes are actually shut. Here’s the thing – my dad isn’t laughing at me. He is laughing because he knows everything is going to be just fine. But, in the picture it would appear that I am frozen in fear. (Side note- I promise, I really did think this was fun!) Not only am I frozen in fear, but I am also confined to that seat with a pretty heavy-duty harness and seatbelt. Obviously, those things are imperative to safely ride these contraptions, but this is honestly another way that we can choose to react or respond to opportune moments from God. We see something ahead of us, ready or not, but instead of trusting our Father, we stop dead in our tracks out of fear. And then that fear has the power to confine us, never allowing us to reap the harvest of what could be. The whole time God is still beside us, not laughing per say, but still joyful because He knows what He has up ahead for us and that it will all be just fine, if we would just stop screaming, open our eyes, and trust Him.

Finally, I came to the third and last photo. I am the oldest in this one. The back of the photograph says Winter 1998 on it, so I would have been about 14 years old. The pure joy and laughter I see in this photo grips me. I remember my dad would grab my hands and start dancing to whatever music was on. Me being rather small still compared to him, I would sometimes put my feet on his and we would then be in perfect unison, no matter what. We would follow his lead. There was no way that I could fail because I was holding his hands and his feet were under mine, holding me up and supporting me and all my weight. We are both full of joy as we are following a path together and I am fully trusting him to guide my every move. That sounds like a great plan, right?! THAT is how God wants us to react to Him. He wants us to trust and lean on him fully, with all of our weight, with all of our burdens, with all of our fears and anxieties. He wants us to be OPEN to his “kairos times” for us and what the opportunity could turn into if we have faith in Him.

Recently, I attended a small group meeting that brought me to the realization I had been ignoring my own kairos times for several months. The video we viewed this particular evening focused on the belt of truth that Paul refers to in Ephesians 14. 

The girding he is referring to is comparable to a belt or girdle for a Roman soldier of that time period. In the video, Priscilla Shirer performed a visually symbolic demonstration of the main purposes for this belt that Roman soldiers wore. It was their most important piece of armor as it had three functions. It gave support to the soldier’s core (their armor weighed a total of around 70 pounds when fully dressed), it held and stabilized other key pieces of armor or weaponry, and it secured their tunic. Her visual demonstration focused on securing the tunic. At first, I had to wonder, “What could securing a tunic possibly have to do with present day spirituality?”. None of us wear full length tunics over our clothing anymore, right?

As I continued to watch her explanation, I understood fully – and I came to the realization I mentioned above right then and there in that metal folding chair. Priscilla had a homemade sort of cloth belt that she tied around her waist, and it also had other pieces of cloth that dangled down to the floor from it – kind of like a thick fringe skirt. She went on to say that these soldiers would pull up their traditional full-length tunics and tuck them inside their belt when they were preparing for battle, so as not to trip or be constricted in their movement. So, ultimately, wearing this belt of sorts that could secure the tunic, allowed for freedom of movement. By restricting the tunic, the soldiers’ legs and feet were free to move in any way so as to avoid and/or take on the enemy. She then continued in her demonstration to ask the audience, “What is it that is restricting you from the freedom that God has for you in His divine plan for you?” She tucked in different pieces of the hanging cloth naming them as different worldly things that might require a boundary or restriction in our lives. After all of the hanging pieces of cloth were tucked into the belt, her legs were completely open and free to walk without tripping or falling. She stated “Now you will be in a place where, He is renewing your mind, realigning your passions and attitudes, and giving you strength to live in a way that is pleasing to Him and a blessing to others.”

All I could think of as I was watching this was the voice that I had been hearing every so often for months. I knew it was the Holy Spirit, but I just didn’t want to listen. The voice was always the same and always the same words,

And it would always come when I was working very hard, like a machine, for my business, my very successful business. Hence, the reason I kept ignoring it. Why would God want me to stop doing something that is so lucrative and successful? (For those of you that don’t know, I own a handmade wholesale jewelry business.) Needless to say, I felt convicted after watching Priscilla’s video. But, for the first time, instead of ignoring the voice, I knew I needed to listen to it and be obedient, even if I had no idea why. It was a kairos moment. I had literally just been given a visual direction right in front of my eyes of exactly what God wanted me to do, and I had a choice.

I could stand still in my faith and hope that God would still move for me similar to the image of flying a kite. I could let fear of the unknown take over, like the roller coaster photo. OR I could choose to follow God’s direction leaning into him with everything in me, allowing him to carry my burdens, having faith in what He already knows, and joyfully walk with Him to the next part of my journey – like the photo of my dad and I dancing together in the kitchen.

 This time, I am choosing faith, trust, and obedience. I am completely unsure of what this means for my business at the moment. I have put it on “hold”, or you might say I have “tucked it into the belt of truth” in the spiritual armor we wear as believers. I need to be free to walk in the direction God wants me to go with Him.

Interestingly, when I look at the three photographs above cohesively or as a whole, I think they accurately depict our faith journey as believers for many of us. We start out as very young and inexperienced in our faith, watching all the new things that are happening because of the drastic change in our life going from non-believer to believer. Then, as we grow in our faith a little more each day, we sometimes stumble upon things God wants us to do, but we are just too afraid to really go all in. Finally, as we start to mature in our faith by reading God’s Word, deliberately surrounding ourselves with other wisdom filled believers, praying and worshipping, we become more in tune with the Holy Spirit. We hear Him and sense Him. We can put on our belt of truth, tuck in whatever needs to be put aside for the moment and be free and open to the kairos moments God has for us.

Is there something hanging from your belt of truth that needs to be rolled up and tucked in? Is there something that you know God is telling you to do or try but you have too many pieces of cloth hanging and dragging in front of your legs and feet to allow you the freedom to walk in God’s plan for you? I pray for you, and myself, that we would be as open to the Holy Spirit’s nudges as 11-year-old Trenton is to trying his next new endeavor, and that we would choose to respond joyfully in those kairos moments, with unwavering faith for our next steps, like the dancing 14-year-old girl from the past.

I have a Peloton bike. I absolutely love it. We purchased it in 2018 and moved to a different townhome shortly after, which meant the bike had to be taken apart and put back together again. After the move we were so busy trying to get everything put in its place and get that bike put back together so I could ride, that I never checked to see if the settings stayed the same during the move. I just wanted to be done and ride. (If you have ever rode a Peloton or a spin bike of any type you know that all the settings for the seat, handlebars, screen, etc. matter drastically to the rider personally.) A few months after that, I decided I wanted the bike downstairs instead of upstairs where we had placed it in the move. (My husband was thrilled.) This very heavy machine had to be taken apart again, moved down not one, but two flights of winding stairs – after moving it up those same stairs just a few months earlier, and then put back together again. Unfortunately for me, patience is obviously not one of my virtues. So, again, I didn’t take the time to check the settings, I just rode.

Since then, my kids have played with knobs, pretended to ride it, and at some point, I am pretty sure my four-year-old thought she could use the handlebars as monkey bars. My husband also did a few rides here and there on his own settings and then tried to change them back as best he could. And so, not right away, but over some time, I began to feel tired and sore after each ride. Certain joints would ache just slightly, and my lower back felt taxed. It felt a little uncomfortable when pedaling – like something just wasn’t quite right. But I was busy, I had things that needed to get done – I didn’t have time to figure it out. So, I continued to ride and ignore the ailments, until recently. For some reason, about a month ago, I stopped before I got on the bike and looked at the phone that was right in my hand (as it had been every day, Google search and Peloton resources literally at my fingertips before every single ride) and I took the 5 seconds it takes to Google “how to set your Peloton bike correctly before use”. That was it. That was all I had to do. The very first link that popped up was a simple list of exactly how to set each aspect of the bike to fit your body personally and, thus, give you the most comfortable ride and least chance of injury. Turns out, my bike was way off (You don’t say!). After I took the 5 minutes to adjust the settings properly, it was like I was riding a brand-new bike. My neck and shoulders didn’t feel so tense, my back didn’t hurt, my knees didn’t ache, and I was enjoying it just as much as when we first purchased it. Why didn’t I just take those 5 minutes months and months ago? Because I was too busy, too distracted, and too worried about getting everything done that I wanted to get done. And because of my denial to simply “take a minute”, I was slowly hurting my body physically.

This same situation can happen to us spiritually, mentally, and emotionally if we don’t take the time to pause and figure things out. I needed to do this in all above mentioned areas for the past year, not just on my bike, but I wouldn’t. However, in September, God brought me to a place and time where I had no choice but to take those moments to allow Him to sort things out for me.

God Moment #9 –

A New Perspective Gained

“And all my life you have been faithful

And all my life you have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

Cause Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me…” 

Those were the words of the worship song I sang along with the second day of a women’s conference I attended this past September. They brought me to tears that I fought hard to hold inside, just as I had been every day for the past year. I didn’t want to feel the tears, the pain, the doubt, the questions that inevitably always arose in my head no matter what I knew to be true when thoughts of my mother’s passing from cancer crept into my mind. I just kept going and going when those feelings started to rear their ugly face. I realized during this moment of hearing these song lyrics, God’s goodness was doing just that. It was running after me. It was chasing me because I wouldn’t stop to let it catch up and help me deal with my grief. I would run away from it with my work, taking care of our kids, scrolling social media, chores around the house, helping with my small group, shopping, watching TV series, working out, everything and anything to keep the real feelings from being felt. Though none of those things are necessarily negative things, they were being used to fill in the spaces in my time that needed to be filled with God’s mercy and grace for me. Following the worship song was a speaker who focused much of her message on stories of people being miraculously healed of cancer. Out of no fault of her own, I was crushed by this. That was not what I wanted to hear at this conference. But I needed to. I needed my true feelings to surface and be dealt with.

After this was a lunch break. I was shaky walking to the area where my friends and I were headed to eat. Towards the end of the lunchbreak the emotions I was holding in for months on end couldn’t be contained anymore. I broke out into one of those ugly cries right in the middle of my circle of friends. One of them embraced me while I cried into her lap like a baby. And another used her seemingly always soothing words to comfort and talk me through the painful cry. My face hurt afterwards, and I felt exhausted. It felt good to get all of that out, but at the same time, I was still discouraged from the message before lunch and the fact that my own mother was not one of those miraculous stories of being healed after being prayed over and believing for her healing.

It was time for the last speaker and there was only about a half hour left in the conference. I started to consider dipping out early to catch the last part of my son’s baseball game that was going on at the same time. What was a half hour? I couldn’t miss that much in that amount of time, and I just really wanted to get back to the normal day and away from the emotional turmoil I was feeling. But something told me “Just stay…” So, I did.

At the end of those last 30 minutes, I knew exactly why I had needed to stay. The last speaker was an amazing lady with an infectious laugh and a message that God hand crafted just for me that day. After her introduction remarks, she started into her message which she stated would be about her late husband and how she believes he was drawn to heaven. He had been very sick with a very aggressive type of cancer. She gave remarks about how she and her kids had prayed over him for healing the months leading up to his passing and how she even prayed for his resurrection for hours in the hospital room after he had passed. But he did not come back. He had been drawn to heaven. I wasn’t completely sure I understood what she meant but I was certainly intrigued. She was talking about almost the exact same situation my family had experienced with my mother just over two years ago. I wanted to know more.

Ironically, she had written an entire book about this experience and the perspective God had given her through it. As soon as she was done speaking, I bolted out of the sanctuary to buy the book. I finished it after just a few weeks. It is one of the best books I have ever read. God spoke to me through her words in this book, “The Draw of Heaven,” so specifically I feel like she wrote it just for me. Obviously, she did not. She has no idea who I am, but God does. God knows who I am, what I am troubled with, and what is needed to combat it at exactly the right time. Let me give you some insight into the several parts of this book written by Sharon Daugherty that I believe God put in place just for my grieving spirit…..

In the Foreword of the book: (written by John and Lisa Bevere)- “Those who have gone on to heaven began something we are to finish. They are praying for us and cheering us on to our victory. But there is a battle in the heavenlies, and its goal is to paralyze us from moving forward and reaping a harvest.”

God’s Translation to me: Your mom went on to heaven and began something here on earth that you are to finish. She is praying for you and cheering you on to your victory. But there is a battle in the heavenlies, and its goal is to paralyze you from moving forward and reaping your harvest. (I also need to add that during the same time I started to read this book, I was working on and finishing up my article for the previous issue of this publication and it was already themed around the seeds that God plants within us to allow Him to harvest.)

***

In the Introduction of the book: “This book is to encourage the reader to know that there is a draw of heaven upon our lives. It is also to help anyone who is struggling to find answers to the following questions: Why? What went wrong? We were doing all we know to do. Maybe if we had just done this other thing. Maybe if we had not done a particular thing. Or, possibly you have thought, “Somehow God failed, or somehow I failed in some way.” Have you ever thought that it might not have been about what you did or didn’t do? Have you considered the thought that heaven has a draw upon our lives as believers?

God’s Translation to me: This book is to encourage you to know that there is a draw of heaven upon everyone’s life. It is also to help you, as I see you struggling to find answers to your questions you still have about your mother’s passing into heaven. I know you have thought at times that I failed to answer your prayers, or that you failed in some way. But have you ever thought that it might not have been about what you did or didn’t do? Have you considered that heaven has a draw upon the lives of my believers?

***

In “Processing It All as a Family” Chapter: Daughter Ruthie recalls of the days leading up to her father’s passing – “God reminded me of something that He spoke to me just a few hours earlier that night, that if he were to pass that it would only catapult each of us kids into the ministry and callings that God had for us. It would not diminish us or hold us back, but it would increase us in all that God had placed on the inside of us.”

God’s Translation to me: I want to show you through another grieving daughter’s words that even though your mom passed and is with Me now, I want to catapult you and the rest of your family into the ministry and callings that I have for you. This should not diminish you or hold you back. What your mom started on this earth must be continued by all of you. I want it to increase you in all that I have placed on the inside of you.

***

In “The Third Heaven” Chapter: Sharon shares an account of Dr. Eben Alexander, who was given an out of body experience during a 7-day coma, meaning he experienced heaven and returned to tell all about it. – “Dr. Alexander shared how everything was connected or interwoven together. Nothing was separate. Throughout the journey, one of the beings was with him as they rode on something that appeared to be like a butterfly wing. As they went, millions of butterflies flew all around them like a river of life and color moving through the air.”

God’s Translation to me: Do you see how I have tried to show you repeatedly that your mother is with me and well. She came on the wing of a butterfly and got to see exactly what he just described – millions of them all around her like a river of life. Do you see, again, why the monarch butterflies have been so important to you personally and seem to appear at all the right times? (Please refer to God Moment #5 to truly understand the significance of this.)

***

Those are just a few specific examples. Throughout the entirety of her book Sharon talks at different times about the days in the hospital leading up to the passing of her 57-year-old husband. I can say firsthand that the days in the hospital when you are just sitting next to your loved one, watching their earthly body fail in all capacities, are the hardest. I have had images of my mother during her 4 days in the hospital before she passed that have haunted me. It is just such a gut-wrenching experience to sit and watch…and wait…and wonder. Perhaps that is why this excerpt meant the most to me:

“I believe angels were present that morning when my husband slipped into eternity. As I shared earlier, I heard many singing with me from a distance as I worshipped next to Billy Joe’s body. I also believe, according to Scripture, that at the death of a believer who has given his life to Jesus, angels assist his passing into heaven (see Luke 16:22).

Notice that He doesn’t take us; He receives us as we pass into eternity. We return to where we came from.”

The images of my mother I spoke of above no longer haunt me. After reading this book, those very same images now comfort me in my grief – a complete and total change of perspective. You see, in the final hours of her time here on earth, she was unresponsive but would at different times sit up and reach into the air, like she was reaching for something that we couldn’t see, longing for it almost. She would tug at her hospital gown as if to try to get it off. Her eyes still closed. The medical professionals told us it was just something that happens sometimes in reaction to all the very heavy medications on the failing body. I disagree – 100%. I now know exactly what was happening. She was reaching for those angels and for Jesus. She saw them. They were waiting for her, and she longed to be with them. She saw that she would be healed and finally out of her painful suffering in her failing earthly body – hence the tugging at her hospital gown. She was going back to where she came from. Jesus was receiving his good and faithful servant.

Sharon Daugherty, I cannot thank you enough for the message you gave at the conference and this book you have written. It has given me new perspective. I am now able to replay some of those memories of my mother’s final hours here on earth in my mind without utter discouragement. I now imagine my mother reaching for Jesus and His angels, shedding her earthly, failing body, and floating on a butterfly wing into our true home of heaven. And all of that happened just because I listened to the Holy Spirit tell me to just stay put for another half hour at that conference.

What if I had not taken the time to sit and listen to the last 30 minutes of that conference? What if I had never taken the 5 minutes to Google and then adjust my bike as mentioned earlier? I would have missed something so significant in my life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I would still be unknowingly hurting my body each day that I thought I was helping by exercising. I would still be in despair and agony when thoughts of my mother in her last few days come about in my mind. God doesn’t want any of that for me, or anyone. Take a moment, or a few, even when you are overwhelmed, because I can promise you that is when it is needed the most.

When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. ~Psalm 142:3