Desperate cries were heard echoing down the halls of the medical unit we were staying in. Immediately a swarm of nurses descended on the room as mom continued to cry for someone to help her little girl.  My heart sank deep into my chest, and an overwhelming sense of compassion flooded my soul.  No one should ever have to utter those words.  

A trip to the ER a few days earlier had resulted in our admission to Children's Hospital for testing.  There is nothing more eye opening than walking down the hallways and seeing all the little ones. Some have parents lying alongside them in their beds, while others try to catch a quick nap between visits from nurses and doctors.

Few grasp the essence of failure quite like us.  For parents of children with special needs, it's a sentiment we navigate almost daily. Our understanding of failure takes on a distinct form. Unlike the conventional manifestations of failure prevalent in society, this one penetrates the deepest recesses of our hearts.  As I attempt to give you a glimpse into this subject, know that despite the challenges that we face with our children, you will never find a more resilient, dedicated, and determined group of individuals.  Those who must grow and evolve, constantly adapting and changing to meet the challenges ahead, not only for themselves but for their children as well.  So, with that in mind, let’s take a look at failure, through the eyes of a special needs parent. 

Understanding the framework

Let’s start with some basics. In society, failure and success are often framed within a narrow and conventional framework, characterized by certain expectations and standards. Here's how society typically frames these concepts:

1. Success 

▪ Achievement of goals: Success is often equated with achieving specific goals, such as academic excellence, career advancement, financial stability, or social status.

▪ External validation: Society tends to measure success based on external indicators, such as wealth, fame, or prestigious titles.

▪ Conformity to norms: Success is often associated with conforming to societal norms and expectations, including following a conventional career path, getting married, and having children.

2. Failure:

▪ Comparison with others: Success is frequently viewed in comparison to others, leading to competition and comparison among individuals.

▪ Falling short of expectations: Failure is often perceived as falling short of societal expectations or standards, whether in academic, professional, or personal realms.

▪ Stigma and shame: Failure can carry a stigma and be associated with feelings of shame or inadequacy, leading individuals to avoid acknowledging or discussing their failures.

▪ Lack of achievement: Society may view individuals who do not achieve conventional markers of success as failures, regardless of their efforts or circumstances.

▪ Fear of failure: There is often a fear of failure ingrained in societal attitudes, leading individuals to avoid taking risks or pursuing their passions for fear of not meeting expectations.

Overall, society's framing of failure and success can be rigid and limiting, often overlooking individual circumstances, diversity of experiences, and alternative definitions of achievement and fulfillment. This can create pressure to conform to societal norms and standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy or failure when individuals do not meet these expectations.

Expectations vs. Reality

As you can see, society’s expectations can be difficult to navigate in general.  The reality is they have a profound impact on special needs families, often exacerbating the challenges we already face.  We process failure daily, but it looks and feels quite different from the rest of society.  Here are some ways our families can feel and experience failure.   

1.  Societal Expectations: Society often upholds rigid standards of success and achievement, which may not correspond to the realities and challenges experienced by families with special needs. You might not find these parents attending all the PTA meetings, bake sales, basketball games, or birthday parties. This is because their energy is primarily directed towards attending IEP (Individual Education Plan) meetings, therapy sessions, managing schooling, attending doctors' appointments and just dealing with everyday life. 

2. Constant Challenges: Special needs parenting involves navigating a myriad of challenges daily, including financial strain, limited resources, and complex medical and educational needs.  Simple tasks like just going to the grocery store or even taking our kids to the park, must be well thought out.   These ongoing difficulties can contribute to feelings of failure, especially when desired outcomes are not easily achieved.  

3. Comparison with Others: This is a big one. Parents may compare their child's progress or achievements with those of neurotypical children, which can intensify feelings of failure if their child's development appears to be slower or different.  I have had to catch myself a few times, grabbing thoughts as they try to grip at my heart.  The comparison game is so negative, do not get caught up in it.   

4. Stigma and Judgment: Special needs families often face stigma and judgment from those who may not comprehend our unique circumstances. While we do not anticipate the ability to fully grasp the challenges we confront daily, we hope for an inclination toward compassion and kindness rather than judgment and criticism. Countless times, however, I have heard from fellow mothers how glances and remarks from strangers regarding their child's behavior in public places, like restaurants, have deterred them from venturing out altogether.  A warm smile will go a lot further than a sharp glare.  

5. Fear for the Future: Here is another big one. Concerns about the future well-being and independence of our children can weigh heavily on us.  There are so many factors that go into planning for the future of our kids, you have to think of everything.  One of the biggest weights is planning and preparing for how they will thrive, with or without your presence in their lives.  

Thankfully, there are people who specialize in these areas and are there to help us prepare for all aspects of life.

Re-Frame the Framework

If you've ever tackled home remodeling projects, you'll relate to this analogy. Sometimes, to prepare for a new space, you must reframe the existing area. The old framework comes down, and a new one takes its place. This process often mirrors our lives. Parenting, especially special needs parenting, lacks a manual; we must craft our own as we navigate it. Our children constantly challenge us to think outside the box because if we don't, society will confine us to one.  My goal is to shed light on how we redefine failure, transforming it into opportunities for growth and resilience, both for ourselves and our children.

 I want to share a personal yet powerful example from one of the moms in our small group. When asked, "What steps did you take to overcome the failure factor?" here was her response.

"The initial step involved loosening my grip on expectations. So what if we spend only 30 minutes at the swimming pool? It's far better than sitting in my recliner, especially on those rare sunny days in Pittsburgh. Spending two hours at the mall, riding escalators up and down? Fine by me—I'll take advantage of the time by doing a Target pick-up for necessities on my way home. Meanwhile, the mall-goers get a firsthand glimpse of what Autism truly entails. I wouldn't be surprised if we still make a cameo in people's Autism anecdotes, as they recall 'seeing a little boy riding escalators for hours and understanding the repetitive nature of Autism.'

“I also had to let go of people's perceptions of me. Witnessing my 8-year-old have a full-blown meltdown on the floor of Target isn't exactly the highlight of my parenting career, and I can feel the judgmental stares piercing into my fragile mama heart. However, I came to realize that their perception didn't matter. They don't know our story, and perhaps this tantrum could be an opportunity for me to demonstrate empathy to the world and the people of Target. To me, failing would mean dragging my son out of that store while he's having a meltdown, making him feel like the failure. Winning, on the other hand, is me lying on the ground next to him, creating our own little safe bubble where he can feel like someone is willing to join him in his world when things feel  overwhelming.”

“When we invest effort in our children, even if the outcome falls short of our expectations, we've simply identified what won't work next time. I don't view this as failure; rather, it's often part of the process of trial and error. If my son only manages to stay at the park for 30 minutes, that's still 10 minutes longer than last time! It's progress, albeit incremental."

Recognizing small victories and progress in our kids' lives is so important.  A win is a win, even if it looks like failure to the rest of the world.  We must try for the sake of our kids, never giving up on the things that may be hard because we never know if it could be the one thing that could bring breakthrough!

Another way we re-frame failure is by surrounding ourselves with people who will understand and support us in our journey.  You may have had one of the worst weeks with your child, experiencing setback after setback but one moment with like-minded moms and dads can bring the encouragement and motivation needed to keep going.  Small groups, respite events, coffee chats, even a weekly bible study together can bring refreshing when our body and mind get tired.   

We Are Overcomers

As I write this, my mind can't help but reflect on the late singer Mandisa, who recently passed away. Although gone too soon, the time she spent on this earth gifted us with some incredible songs.

"Overcomer" stands out as particularly powerful and happens to be one of my favorites. The Bible doesn't shy away from addressing life's challenges. As parents, it's our duty to empower our children to become overcomers in this world. We need to teach them that from failure can emerge success, growth, and resilience against the obstacles that seek to hold us back. I have seen some amazing young people overcome some incredible odds and accomplish things that are truly unique to their own abilities.  There are exceptional programs that exist that help our kids experience all that this world has to offer.  Here are two of my favorites.  

The first one is called Miracle League.  Here is an excerpt from their website.  

Miracle League is a national organization focused on building ballfields designed to accommodate children with special needs. Today, there are 200 Miracle League organizations across the country, with 100 completed fields, and 100 more under construction. The League’s motto, “Every child deserves a chance to play baseball,” has become a reality for more than 80,000 children and young adults with disabilities. These have used the fields, which feature a synthetic surface that makes it possible for children in wheelchairs and walkers to play the game safely.  I know many families that have participated in Miracle League and rave to this day about how their son or daughter loved every minute of it!  Thank God for programs like this and others.

The second one is the Miss 22 Quties Pageant

Victory Family Church has hosted the Miss 22 Quties Pageant the last few years.  This pageant was founded by Tammy Rose, a mother of 5, two of whom have special needs.   Started in 2011, this pageant which began with 10 participants, two escorts and 30 attendees has grown to host up to 25 participants and over 300 attendees.  Miss 22 Quties is poised to inspire more young women with a message of hope and possibility each year.   There is no such thing as failure to these young women.  Given the opportunity and a stage, the skies the limit.  Their goal is to give every young woman a place to shine.  Somewhere they can learn to develop skills, express themselves and most of all build friendships and confidence.  I’m so glad I was able to watch these young ladies perform this last year.  It was a moment I will never forget.  

In conclusion, I want to highlight how re-framing failure as an opportunity for growth and resilience is essential. By shifting our perspective on setbacks, we unlock the potential to learn from our experiences, build stronger coping mechanisms, and foster a mindset that embraces challenges. This transformative approach not only empowers individuals to navigate adversities with greater confidence but also cultivates a culture that values perseverance and continuous improvement. Ultimately, seeing failure through the lens of growth enables us to thrive in the face of obstacles, turning what once seemed like insurmountable barriers into stepping stones toward success.

Special needs families embody remarkable strength and resilience, navigating unique challenges with unwavering determination and love. Our families often face numerous obstacles, from medical complexities to social and educational hurdles, yet they continually adapt and advocate fiercely for their loved ones. Their resilience is evident in their ability to find joy in small victories and their commitment to creating supportive, inclusive environments. Through their journey, they demonstrate an inspiring capacity for compassion, patience, and perseverance.  Even though we may face failure in one form or another daily, we do not let it define our children.  We adopt the mindset very early on that no matter what, we will never give up. 

In my early 20s, I had the opportunity to travel abroad. Coming from a small town in Oregon, you do not realize how big the world is until you start to experience it firsthand.  A mission trip with my youth group took us across the Atlantic Ocean to Great Britian. During our time, my host family took me to visit many different sites around the area. I think two of my favorite experiences were touring the different castles and walking into centuries old churches. There are still to this day, thousands of castles still standing throughout the UK. Seeing them on TV is one thing, but walking through the halls of one of these fortresses literally will leave you breathless. The intricate attention to detail and architecture alone is stunning, not to mention that these places were built during a time well before the modern tools and equipment that we have now. You feel so small in comparison to their grandeur. They were each a truly remarkable masterpiece. We have all witnessed and measured worth in our own way. We often gauge worth based on various external factors such as wealth, social standing, or one's status in the community. All these factors convey a similar concept: value. It is human nature to attribute value to things, and often, these are the things that we allow to define who we are and, in turn, our worth.

I admire how Jesus lived and embodied everything contrary to this. His upside-down kingdom gave us a perfect model of what truly is important. Let me elaborate. The Kingdom of God operates on principles different than those of an earthly kingdom. The values and priorities are often opposite of what the world teaches us. Its very nature prioritizes humility over pride, serving others over serving yourself, spiritual riches over material wealth and so on. These very principles challenge us to reassess our values and perspectives as Jesus himself conveyed in the Beatitudes in Matthew 5:3-12. Throughout his earthly ministry, Jesus consistently looked beyond outward appearances, recognizing the inherent worth of every individual. As we delve into this theme, this should serve as our inspiration.

Think about someone in your life, perhaps from your early years, who helped you recognize your value and worth? For me, it was my high school softball coach. His dedication extended far beyond simply honing our skills as softball players. A man of faith, he ensured that every practice session was infused with words of encouragement and reminders of our intrinsic worth. The time and energy he invested in our development not only improved us as softball players but also our character. So why is it so farfetched to see Jesus doing the same thing during His time on this earth. He was the model for all of us to follow. He demonstrated the transformative power of adding value to every life He encountered. His mission was not bound by societal norms or hierarchies; instead, He embraced everyone with open arms, from the outcasts to the influential. By doing so, Jesus shattered the illusion that only certain individuals deserved love and compassion.

An impactful aspect of Jesus' ministry lay in His intentional outreach to the outcasts and lowly. He actively sought those considered unworthy, embodying the true essence of adding value. Consider the Samaritan woman at the well, found in John 4. Was it merely a coincidence that He happened to be there at that precise moment? Engaging in a conversation with a woman society deemed unworthy, the Savior of the world spoke volumes to her in minutes compared to her entire life before. In one moment, one encounter, her life was transformed, and her testimony ignited a fire that spread throughout her entire town. Whether it was healing the sick, dining with tax collectors, or befriending sinners, Jesus consistently conveyed a message of unconditional love. Illustrating to us all that everyone is deserving of compassion and kindness. What unfolded with the Samaritan woman exemplifies the "Ripple Effect." The impact of one moment in the presence of Jesus, changed so many lives. The interaction at the well not only left a profound impact on her but also resonated with those residing in her town.

Jesus possessed an extraordinary ability to perceive beyond the surface, delving into the hearts and minds of those He met. While we may not reach that same level of insight, we can actively strive to comprehend and value the uniqueness of everyone we encounter. His example teaches us that even the smallest acts of kindness can potentially initiate positive change, leaving a lasting impact on the lives of others.

So, now that we have been given the model, and been shown examples of it throughout the Word of God, what stands in the way of us living this out in our daily lives? Personally, I can share with you that for years, I thought and felt like I had nothing to contribute to anyone. I was trying to survive and keep my head barely above water; how could I possibly offer anything of value. It’s one of the greatest lies ever told from the father of lies himself. If the enemy can keep you irrelevant, he will. The enemy thrives in obscurity and if he can whisper in your ear that you have no value, no worth or significance, he will. And with that he renders you paralyzed. Thank God Jesus came to break the chains that so easily can bind us and to ascribe value and worth to all who believe. Recognizing our worth in Him allows us to recognize worth in others. The turning point for me occurred when I discovered a community where I could truly open up and be myself. Our small circle of special needs moms has evolved into a crucial support system for my personal growth and transformation. The mutual exchange within the group is substantial, and they contribute as much, if not more, to me as I do to them. Regardless of the challenges we face during the week, when we come together, barriers begin to dissolve. Our shared moments are often filled with tears, revealing emotions we rarely expose to others. There are instances where we join forces in prayer, redefining the concept of navigating life together. Yet, the most cherished moments arise when we can celebrate even the small victories in our children's lives. While these accomplishments might seem trivial to some, they are monumental to us. It's a continuous cycle of adding value, again and again.

So, if you are one that has struggled to believe that you could add value to the life of another, here are three things that have helped me.

 1. Understanding God's View of Value:

• Reflect on what the Bible teaches us about the inherent value of every individual.

Scripture emphasizes that each person is uniquely created by God and has a purpose. For example,

• Seek guidance and direction from other leaders or mentors to deepen your understanding of how as believers we should view human worth. Understanding that your value comes from being a child of God is one of the core elements to freedom and that alone can boost self-esteem and confidence.

2. Discovering and Using your Spiritual Gifts:

• Explore and identify your spiritual gifts. The Bible talks about how God has endowed each person with unique gifts and talents to contribute to the wellbeing of the community. These gifts might include qualities like kindness, empathy, teaching, leadership, or service. Romans 12: 3-8 highlights this theme as well as 1 Corinthians 12.

• Engage in activities that align with your spiritual gifts. By using these gifts to help others, you can experience a sense of purpose and fulfillment. This can, in turn, reinforce the understanding that you have value to offer.

3. Get Involved and Serve:

• Get involved in your church or local community in ways that allow you to serve others. Acts of kindness, whether big or small, can make a significant impact on someone's life. Volunteer work and community service provide tangible opportunities to add value to others and, in turn, enhance your sense of purpose.

• Connect with a small group or other believers in a community where you can

share your struggles and receive support. Building meaningful relationships within a supportive community can reinforce the idea that you are valued and can make a positive impact.

So how do you measure your worth? We have been given the model, shown by example, and now it’s our turn to bring the positive change that the world needs with every encounter. Your worth is set by God himself. Not the world, not things or even people. Once you know who you are in Christ, things become so much clearer. We are His hands and feet. Remember, you and I can make a difference. The power of addition can change lives and transform our world. Together, let's embrace the opportunity to impact the lives of one another, breaking free from the lies that tell us our contributions are insignificant. Through love, compassion and kindness we can mirror the example Jesus set for us. You are loved, you have value and you really do have worth!

The quest for a church home had been a prolonged one for our family. We had been searching for a community that not only welcomed us but also provided a secure and inclusive space for our son, who has special needs. Finding the right fit had proven challenging in previous attempts. Yet, I had a feeling that this time would be different. I had a feeling that the door before us was the one destined for our family to walk through.  

 I vividly recall that moment, as if it unfolded just yesterday. It was a typical weekday. I had scheduled a tour with the woman in charge of the Special Needs Ministry at Victory Family Church.  She was so kind and understanding. Asking all kinds of questions about our family but most importantly our son and his needs. As we walked down the halls of the church, I found myself in awe of its grandeur. Coming from smaller church settings, this place's sheer size overwhelmed me. 

Throughout the tour, a new hope began to rise. That this church could be more than just a physical space. It could be the place for true growth and connection. That visit, nine years ago, marked the beginning of an incredible journey. One that has surpassed all my expectations. Victory Family Church evolved into a community in the years that followed. I look back on that single tour. It wasn't just a visit. It was the start of a lasting bond. The transition was a big turning point. It showed that sometimes, the right opportunity comes unexpectedly.   

What within us causes the next step to be so challenging? It's a journey we grasp in its basic essence as children. With open hands, our parents encourage us to walk toward them, guiding us to place one foot in front of the other. Initially, the steps may lack grace, but with the passing of time, they will grow increasingly confident. Then one day, we find ourselves not only walking independently but operating at our full potential. 

For me, I knew I had to venture beyond my comfort zone. I was happy to sit in the back, and quickly leave after the service. Calling Victory our home affirmed my belief that it was where God intended us to be during this season of our lives. The abundance of activities and diverse groups provided ample opportunities for involvement. To find connection with individuals beyond the door greeters, we knew we needed to join a small group. How does one transform a sizable church into an intimate community? By discovering your tribe — those who share your passions, interests, and hobbies. In a vast congregation, this isn't merely a strategy for survival but the key to thriving.  

The trajectory of our lives, our progress, and our character all pivot on the choices we make and the steps that follow. Imagine a grand staircase laid out before you. If you focus solely on the distance and the multitude of stairs leading to the top, the inclination might be to opt for the elevator. Instead, consider each individual step and take them one at a time. Recognize that this methodical progression will ultimately fulfill a divine purpose in our lives. It's a crucial element not to be underestimated in the intricate process of life. 

The Bible talks about this process many times throughout the Proverbs and Psalms. Proverbs 3:5-8 in the Amplified reads:

Could taking our next steps be the catalyst for the changes we seek in our lives? Is it plausible that trusting in God to guide our steps could lead to genuine growth and a richer life? This was my experience, as well as that of many others who opted to engage in something bigger than themselves. The pivotal next step for me was discovering my community. A group of women who understood the challenges of being a special needs mom. This wasn't just any group; if it truly existed, it would be comprised of the most exceptional women one could imagine.  

My prayer had been answered. To my amazement, not only did God answer, but He set into motion a transformative and groundbreaking journey. This divine intervention led me to Supermoms. A small group ministry that emerged from the compassionate heart of a friend.   It's fascinating how one person's obedience to a prompting by God, can start a cascade of life-altering events. 

Reflecting on your own experiences, consider the impact of the last group you were a part of. Did it leave a lasting imprint on your spiritual journey? Were the conversations and fellowship a source of comfort, revealing that you weren't alone in your struggles? It's no coincidence; God understands our need for connection. He designed us to navigate life together. To draw strength and support from a community that reflects His love and understanding. Supermoms became more than a group; it became a conduit for God's grace, affirming the truth that we are not meant to journey through life in isolation.   

One should not overlook this key element. Having friends on the journey is immensely beneficial. The shared enthusiasm of those in your group, all working in tandem, not only aid in your advancement but also propels everyone forward. Taking that next step together forms camaraderie. This fosters encouragement, understanding, and a shared sense of purpose. It makes the path less daunting and the victories more celebratory. In the company of friends, the journey becomes a collaborative effort. It reinforces the idea that progress is not a solitary endeavor but a collective, empowering experience.  

As a new year has begun, consider dedicating moments to prayer. Seeking guidance for your next steps. Perhaps, God is urging you to deepen your connection with Him. Encouraging you to hone your ability to recognize His voice. It could be a call to dive deeper into the Bible, its pages waiting patiently on the shelf. Rest assured that even small prompts can ignite significant transformations. Regardless of the specific prompting, big or small, these shifts can occur. Seemingly ordinary moments hold hidden possibilities, waiting to bring meaningful change. Embrace them. 

Have you ever pondered the question, 'Why me, God?' Why would you choose me? I feel so ill-equipped to lead others; it seems like a mistake on your part. There are moments when I can almost picture Him chuckling at my various reasons. However, I'm not alone in this. Throughout the Bible, God consistently selected the most broken and unsuspecting individuals to fulfill His intentions. From Moses and David to Peter and Paul, the examples are plentiful. This means you and I are in excellent company. All that's needed is for you to listen and respond to His call. He's patiently waiting. As I write, I pray you hear my heart. This life is not one that I would have chosen, but this is the life that I am determined to see through. This space is dedicated to all those who have experienced challenges in their lives that were meant to derail you but ended up propelling you into your next season. The ones you can’t even begin to make sense of or try to explain to another soul. You may not understand in the moment, but you will walk out of the valley. God sees you, and He is with you; even in the silence, He is there. I was content to be invisible and support the vision of others, but God had other plans. Those in my inner circle can affirm the authenticity of this statement:

While I could have chosen to remain concealed, I would have forfeited an exceptional journey alongside God!

So, the adventure begins and if you ever experienced the exhilaration of embarking on a new adventure, it’s a feeling you will never forget. That sense of excitement, the eager anticipation of encountering unfamiliar destinations and immersing yourself in a new culture. A missions trip in my early 20’s to Wales sparked that feeling in me. On that trip, I can remember the exact moment when I received word that I had been accepted into Veterinary School in Oregon and also on a whim a Bible College in Wales. How about that for a pivotal, life altering crossroads. While I would have enjoyed doing them both, only one stood in my future. I spent over two years in that beautiful country, not learning about animals but about the life changing, infallible Word of God.

As you read this message, I encourage you to consider how can we delight in the journey we are presently travelling. How can we truly take pleasure in and appreciate the process or experience we are going through. Finding joy in the moments, challenges and discoveries along the way. One of my favorite verses is found in the Book of James that reminds me of this truth.

 If we're honest, do we truly enjoy being tested and challenged? How do we discover joy when the obstacles often feel so overwhelming that we can hardly remain upright? How can we possibly bring positivity to someone else's life when we ourselves feel like we're repeatedly stumbling along our own path? These questions and more have gone through my mind countless times over the years. As a parent of a special-needs son, in the physical realm, you perpetually grapple with the sensation of not doing enough for your child. I distinctly recall a conversation with my son's doctor. During our discussion of his latest test results, I bombarded her with a multitude of questions. With remarkable composure, she looked at me and said, "You must remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint." Her words have remained etched in my memory as I continue this journey alongside my son. Truth be told, I'm not fond of marathons; they extend far too long and stretch your physical endurance to its utmost boundaries. Nonetheless, here I stand, squarely in the midst of one.

This is one of the reasons the SuperMoms small group ministry was created. When you are faced with these constant challenges, you feel like you are all alone. It is vital that you realize that you’re not. There are some things that have helped me along the way, and I want to share them with you, not as a rule but as a process.

First, you have to move past and find peace with the WHY – the question that everyone. has asked God at some point. Why did this happen to my son or daughter? Why can't they communicate with me? Why must they endure such suffering? The list goes on and on. This one is the most challenging, as the answer we desire isn't easily comprehended. or embraced. There's no set formula for this, but it is possible to progress beyond it and continue the journey He has planned for you. I can share that through prayer, as well as the love and support of my family and friends, my heart has become fully convinced of the goodness of God. And despite what has occurred, it won't always persist.

Once you address the "why," it paves the way for Him to start revealing answers to the other "Wh" questions. Where does God want me to go? What is His plan for me? Who can I be a blessing too? And when is the right time to move on? Now, I'm not referring to being sent to a distant land for jungle missions. I'm speaking about the routines of daily life. Every day, we encounter individuals on our journey whom God wishes to touch. He desires to employ you, just as you are, to connect with those who are navigating life without hope.

I reflect on individuals like Joni Eareckson Tada, who, at the age of 17, endured a diving accident that rendered her a quadriplegic and paralyzed from the shoulders down. despite the daunting challenges posed by her disability, Joni has emerged as a significant figure, utilizing her experiences to motivate and uplift others. She is renowned for her unwavering Christian faith and her writings encompassing topics related to disability, suffering, and the divine purpose amidst adversity. Her narrative has reached individuals across the globe, carrying along with it the message of the gospel. Just envision if she had halted her journey at the point of questioning "why."

It is indeed possible to relish the journey you are presently undertaking and be a blessing to another. Acknowledge that you are a daughter or son of the Most High, and irrespective of the challenges you must face, He accompanies you. Seek out your tribe—those individuals who will steadfastly support you and unite with you in prayer, regardless of the circumstances. Ultimately, let the words of the Apostle Paul resonate within you, as he composed one of his last letters to Timothy:

Those are the words that I want to be able to say in my final days. The road may have been hard, but I will finish my race. Right now, I am in the middle of the greatest adventure I have ever been on, and the greatest part is the people God has connected me to along the way. Just think if the decision made at that crossroads in my life had been different. I am so glad I chose Him.

Growing up in Oregon, I remember my father's job vividly. He was a Firefighter for the Portland Fire Department for 27 years. His schedule wasn’t like most 9 to 5 jobs, he worked shifts. Twenty-four on, forty-eight off was his usual schedule unless he was called in. He didn’t talk a lot about some of the calls that he would have to go out on, but I knew every day he went to work, he was putting his life on the line for another. That’s what firefighters do, they run into burning buildings to rescue those who are trapped and in need of help. I thank God that he was able to see his career through to retirement, it’s definitely not a job for the faint of heart.

At some point all of us need a helping hand. Someone to reach out in the midst of our loneliness and despair and offer a way out. Someone to show us a way off our own island and back into connection and community with others. This is a very extreme reality for families like mine, families who are raising special needs children in an ever-changing and chaotic world. Parenting, in itself is daunting, but when you face the challenges that come with raising a child with special needs, your whole world changes. Things that you used to be able to do with ease now become difficult and most of the time impossible. You find yourself isolated and often exhausted, trying to navigate a system that is anything but easy. You pray for a moment of peace, only to tackle another day of appointments and therapies, sleepless and weary. You just want to be able to go to a church and enjoy the worship and a message, without being paged that your child is having difficulties for the tenth time. You long for someone to talk to that understands what it’s like and does not judge you or tell you don’t have enough faith for your child's healing.

This was the real-life situation that my husband and I found ourselves in for almost 5 years after our son’s diagnosis. Then in October 2014, we found a church that was meant for families like ours.

Victory Family Church saved us on many different levels. One of the first ministries established was the Endless Possibilities Ministry for special needs kids. The ministry was birthed from Pastor John and Michelle’s own experience with their son who was healed and set free from autism. We knew in our hearts that this was the place we could grow as a family and our son would be well cared for of in a place made just for him. Having all these things in place now, brought hope to our lives like never before. But there was still something missing.

Fast forward to March of 2016. The Small Groups initiative was just getting started and little did I know that God had heard my prayer for connection. Certainly, there had to be other Special Needs moms in the church because we would usually pass each other in the hall after dropping off our children at Endless Possibilities. But being in such a large church I had no idea how to find and connect with them. Once again, God heard my cry. A new group was starting called Supermom's, a group especially for Special Needs moms and caregivers. It was the lifeline that I had been searching for and the connection that I had needed for so long.

 The group has its origin story in the heart of our founder Kristi Wees. Kristi came to Victory in 2015. She was the mom to an amazing girl who was struggling with so many health issues and food sensitivities. Kristi knew what it meant to feel alone and worn out on this unknown journey with her daughter. Walking by the Endless Possibilities room she observed the same expressions from other parents and caregivers. Parents dropping off their children, passing each other in the halls, exhausted as they rushed to service. With little to no interaction between them, Kristi knew God was speaking to her heart. There had to be a way to minister to the moms of special needs kids, and not just connect them but give them an opportunity to receive rest and renewal from God, the only one who could truly provide it.

 She reached out to leadership and soon thereafter a small group was started in the Healing Room of Victory Family Church. God laid it on her heart to call the group S.U.P.E.R. Moms which stood for Super Unique People Expecting Renewal and Rest. The passage from Isaiah 40:30-31 echoes this mission

Seven years later, we are still going strong. We have some of the most incredible women in our group, and at our core we know where our strength lies. One of my favorite verses reflects this. Psalm 91 has always been my anchor. The words resonate with life every time they are spoken.

Verse 14- 16 says, “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

One of the core messages of SuperMoms is that we are “Empowered by God”. On the journey with our children, there is nothing that prepares us for what we face when the diagnosis comes. As parents, grandparents, and caregivers you do whatever it takes to help your child. You go to the best doctors, travel to every therapy appointment, find any treatment and spare no expense to provide a better quality of life. At some point, you come to the end of your own abilities. People ask me all the time about how I deal with this journey that I’m on with my son. I cannot give credit to anything other than the grace of God which has sustained me over the years. John Bevere gave one of the best definitions of this word. He said Grace is God’s empowerment that give us the ability to go beyond our natural ability. No one is ever prepared for the unknown with their children. It’s a place where if you're not careful, fear will rule, instead of faith. That is another reason why SuperMoms exists. To let you know that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. This is what separates our group from others. Our focus is not on the diagnosis, but the one who makes all things possible!

The heart of the SuperMoms ministry seeks to connect all who are impacted by special needs. We have ladies in our group who are at all different places in their walk with God and their journey with their child. We also have ladies who travel from all over to attend our monthly meetings. In fact, you don’t have to be a member of Victory Family Church to come to our small group! Our desire is to provide a safe place for SuperMoms to come, share and connect with others. A place where they can recharge their battery, even if only for a short while. We have been actively meeting every month at Victory Family Church for over 7 years now. We schedule our meetings at the same time as the service so that our families can utilize the Special Needs classroom known as Endless Possibilities. There are so many special needs families in our communities that are not able to attend church unless the church provides them with the support system to care for their child. I have heard from so many parents and caregivers over the years tell me that because of ministries like Endless Possibilities they were able to finally attend church as a family again. That is the heart of SuperMoms and Endless Possibilities, to reconnect these families to the local church, where they can come and grow together, worship together and thrive together!

 The SuperMoms ministry is only possible because of the amazing men and women who serve our kids every weekend in the Endless Possibilities room. The vision for the ministry is simple. In Endless Possibilities, they believe that each child has a bright future, no matter what challenges they may face. They see them not as the world sees them, but how God sees them, valuable and complete! No two people have exemplified this more than Tanya and Ben Rings. For over 12 years now, Tanya and Ben have devoted their time and energy to see this ministry thrive! Their sense of fulfillment has come through seeing these families experience church in a new way. Seeing the relief on the faces of the parents and smiles on the faces of the kids is a reward in itself. Without people like them, and all the other volunteers, these families would not be able to attend church together. This ministry is a lifeline to these families! If you or someone you know has a desire to help in this area, please do not hesitate to volunteer. You don’t need any special training to love on these kids. Come and be part of something that truly does make an impact in the lives of these families!

To the ladies that lead with me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. We have laughed, cried, played together and prayed together. Liz Tuell, Shara Stefura and Amy Solman here’s to finishing the race that God has put before us!

Endless Possibilities contact info:

 Rebecca Koehler, 

childrens@lifeatvictory.com

SuperMoms contact info:

  ljcrowson@outlook.com